Sunday, September 20, 2015
I want more side boards to hold all the stacks....more brain space to hold all the ideas...more time and skill at reading, learning, inspiring, teaching, leading, dancing, loving!!!! I want a full time assistant for all the stuff that bores me and feels like dross. I want to pay someone to go to the post office, book flights, put gas in the car, pay the bills, change over the laundry I started yesterday, stand by me in keeping my word to myself as I transition my eating habits.
That I would even write the words I WANT MORE of anything feels so ungrateful. Yet, truth.
I want a living Mom. That woman who watches my living. She steps in with greatest love and guides me with her knowing, because she has gone before me. She has tips and tricks and experienced new and other love and other "ways" to share with me. She loves me like I love my kids. She gets me. She loves my heart. She loves my imperfections. She shares the secrets of sacred living. I miss you Mom. I talk to her out loud as well as in my meditations. I sometimes see her in my dreams. I feel her even now. I want her HERE in the physical talking touching holding now.
Whoa! WOWZA! My life is the Bombdiggity xxooxx Or at least my imagination/promptings/signs/mom messages-- make it so :) I am laughing out loud as I notice Mr. Wayne there in my office pic posted above without my DREAM BOARD PICS taped all over the top of him (I bought the pic only to use the frame for my dream board). The pics I had taped on top all fell off in one big chunk. The whole thing just FELL OFF. I took note, attributing it to an angel message :)
I decided to redo my board and only put pics there that I wanted to manifest in the next year. That was 4 months ago. I obviously haven't done the work to recreate it.
Mr. Wayne greets me with his loaded barrel self many times a day as I come into my office. He keeps me company as I spend hours in here. I have been known to talk to JOHN/PARTNER as my day progresses--I use him as a focusing tool when I feel scattered. I put on my Intune oil and while I do it I say "hey, John... or hey, Partner.....you got that pistol focused at hitting BLUE?"... or "training those new builders?"... or "getting another workout in?" ...or from whatever I feel like I am being distracted. (I'm impressed with myself that more and more I REALIZE I am being distracted). :) ANYWAY :) ... out loud I will beg John to assist me in creating from my highest self. So...pretty much I address him like he is a REAL partner. He is my WILSON in Tom Hank's Cast Away. I will call down the heavens to assist me in life lessons-- asking that I get the lessons in the easiest, most happy, thoughtful to/for myself and others ways....most times I throw JOHN in the mix and smile. Kind of like an inside joke between me and the heavens. Cuz me and heavens, we are intimate like that :)
Back to the laughing out loud. A dream board is a manifesting tool. I wasn't intending on manifesting a cowboy. Yet... I find it NO coincidence that I manifest a 6'4" COWBOY in my life! I just googled and guess how tall John Wayne is??? You can't make this stuff up.
COWBOY IS pretty awesome. But with my miraculous manifesting skills I think I will take some time today to choose and tape up the desired- yet to be- manifestations bouncing around in my head. I'm going to MAKE SURE they get posted on the magic dream board :) The question is...did I manifest him unintentionally because he is on the dream board space...or did the angels drop the whole dang board to show me a COWBOY and his WAYS were coming and I should pay attention?
I wouldn't have had ANY of these thoughts had I not taken the pic of my office this morning. And then started writing. Did I tell you I love my life? That I love the crazy of me? I don't want to forget the deliberate synchronicities of my life. So I am recording them here.
COWBOY doesn't even know I have a blog. If he did, he is NOT a reader and I doubt he'd read it. He is a dear, direct, hardworking, SIMPLE man. A simple I long to be. He IS also what Wikipedia says about John Wayne " he epitomized rugged masculinity and is famous for his demeanor, including his distinctive calm voice, walk, and height."
COWBOY is symbolic. I had no idea how much my soul was yearning for simple. Obviously the God's are directing my goop it up brain to OTHER WAYS. Cowboy ways. Simple ways. My brain is exploding with analogies.
*The gorgeous alone drive (to his farm) for hours into what felt like the middle of nowhere-- to be surprised with a heavenly paradise...an Oasis in the middle of desert. My soul calmed and clarity emerged in the alone time on the way after just finishing 10 very filled days of Convention.
*Living by the seasons, the DAILY weather, the NOW. I felt reconnected with Mother,..Earth. Especially noted as I continue to move into my new life season. I held a new baby this week and longed for younger days as he giggled and delighted in ME... while feeling extreme relief to have moved passed that place. The wind was blowing like crazy outside for a whole day of the trip, but all was perfect inside.
To quote COWBOY as we were discussing life philosophy "WHY would you worry your pretty little head over something you have absolutely NO CONTROL over?" which reinforced BE HERE NOW...do the BEST you can with what shows up, choose shelter when desired. I control the the elements INSIDE.
*EVERY Morning first watering the fields before starting the rest of the day. Start the day watering my soul. Yep its work. It takes time. The work and time produce life sustaining yields.
*Taking time to REST. Rest your fields, your horses, your finances, your heart, your mind, your expectations.
*Work hard/Play hard. Hard = Joy filled intention with action.
*You gotta SPEAK UP when talking or they can't hear you.
*You are related to your entire town. The world and all peoples are our intimate family.
*Everyone in town likes to know your business :). Nuff said. And we wanna know theirs. Let's make it a LOVE and learning thing.
*Be the person your Dog thinks you are.
*There are horse (stallion and filly) analogies for every life situation, even and especially in negotiating a new relationship :)
This led me to think there must be some cowboy wisdom out there on the net that maybe I'm suppose to look at...sure nuff....
Cowboy Wisdom and Humor
Things a Cowboy Should Not Do
Horse Quotes and Sayings
I'm so gonna end on John Wayne quotes with a BIG OLE SMILE:
Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.
Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid.
Talk low, talk slow, and don't talk too much.
Tomorrow hopes we have learned something from yesterday.
If everything isn't black and white, I say, “Why the hell not?
If you've got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow.