Tuesday, April 12, 2011


SO, I'm a big talker. Day one on "new and improved eating me" went FANTASTIC. Day 2, today, not so fantastic. Left for my run with a head cold like no other. Can't remember the last time I had a cold. I heard on TV once that the purest cancer fighter cells are created from having a cold in your system...so I guess it can stay a minute. But no longer than an minute. I walked most of my route just wanting to lay my head down somewhere, anywhere. I finally succumbed and had a nap from 1:30 to 4:45. Alas, still my head needs to be on a pillow.
Oprah has this new show about food addicts. I am SO a food addict. According to the show I am eating my pain. Food is NOT the real issue. Now the question, WHAT PAIN? Well, lets start with being on this planet with 5 amazing children all with BIG DREAMS to shepherd through the experience ......hmmmm. And then there's MY DREAMS. Some of which are pretty close at hand---just right at my finger tips, if only I can figure out the RIGHT way to work it. Figuring it out. Think the whole eating thing started when I started figuring....
Tonight my house is rocking with teenagers...who oddly enough just watched TANGLED and cheered through most of it. Spencer is quietly taking in all of his LAST moments before life changes for him forever. I am watching him take it all in and making myself a grilled cheese sandwich to feed the hurt of it. Tomorrow I'll quit the bread and butter. Tomorrow.

Sunday, April 10, 2011


Just trust me...if you like REAL...you're gonna love this gal....

Getting REAL April 10, 2011 170lbs. Trueville.

6---SIX, yes S I X weeks ago I decided to GET REAL and get a hold of myself on the weight front. Then I had 22 weeks until my 30th High School Reunion. In my head and heart, I just wanted to go back weighing close to what I did IN High School. I've never stopped exercising. I can run a gazillion miles. Yep...even and especially this chunky. But I've gotten in the habit of thinking I DESERVE to eat pretty much whatever sounds yummy to me at the moment. Who let this woman in my life? I did...and I LIKED her. I LOVED her and her food. So much comfort there. SO...I started my deprivation and gained 8 pounds the first week being so freaked out over not being able to HAVE that one thing for 4 months. Then, I just QUIT. WHO AM I??????? I still move the cards from the filing cabinet to the back of the door as the weeks tick by.
I thought about the whole "bikini" picture thing where you embarrass yourself silly and show each week in pictures how much you've lost. May be the first time in my life I am DANG grateful I've NEVER owned a Bikini....You are Welcome...I know how much you appreciate being saved from the site.
I think bizarre thoughts like "remember when----------was in her 40's and lost all that weight and got all OLD looking?", or "you have some nicer curves in some of those places you've never had before and they might just be worth those OTHER softer curves", or "remember how NOT FUN it is to say NO all the time when it feels like EVERYONE ELSE can just go for it and have what they want, when they want?". ...and then the reality of getting dressed in the morning, yea, I pretty much have two outfits that fit. There are the black pants or the jeans....oops-3, I have a tent dress. I won't buy new clothes because that is STUPID.
OF COURSE I'm not staying here at this weight, even though its been 6 months now (just ONE more day)...and then another and another and now I am 6 weeks later having had about 42 LAST DINNERS...I signed up for weight watchers somewhere in there...and maybe I'll go weigh in this week.
BUT THIS IS NOT WHO I AM. I will not do the rest of my life with this many pounds. I have 16 weeks left. I WILL spare you the pictures. This blog is for me. I need a place to record and be accountable. I can't get back the last 6 weeks...so now I have to do it in 16...I CAN. I WILL. SO...no LAST SUPPER...just starting. Jamie...I know you are laughing. Sara, I know you are sick to death of having heard me whine and gnash my teeth for six months. Karie, YOU are my inspiration. Children, forgive me when I just can't put on a spread because I know I'll eat it. Reunion, thanks for coming every 10 years as a life marker.
PS Bread and BUTTER...I am so gonna miss you.......

As I lose each individual pound I get to put it on the OTHER side of the door....as you can see I went up 2 this week:) And that black with blue polka dot swim suit hanging on my bulletin board? I'm wearing that July 27th at Crescent Beach. Calling all Angel's, guardian's guides and FRIEND'S to help.

Spirit Bowl

Sam and crew "CHOSEN" for their class to compete in the Spirit Bowl for the Juniors...this is a SERIOUS event, one of the highlights of the WHOLE YEAR at Timpanogos. The Jr's were assigned the color GREEN. They spray painted these helmets green for the competition. They had Dodge Ball, Leg wrestling, pudding wrestling, an "entrance", a dance off....I'll see if I can steal some pics off of Sam's face book to post as well...this is the most fun High School I have EVER heard of...you should have seen the kids pouring into school that morning with all their themed outfits....AMAZING!!! And the hooded plaid green cape Sam has on? Tanner's mom made 9, yes NINE of them for all the boys competing!

Still in denial

Went and got Spencer all outfitted...still in denial...even with all these shirts to wash and pants to hem and mornings to get with one less more each day before...........
They moved up Spencer's farewell talk in church to NEXT SUNDAY THE 17th of APRIL...1pm...come if you love him, or if you just want some yummy treats afterwards....
We wanted to have the pool opened for the weekend...but all this DANG snow...not going to happen. OK...but leaving the weather open to a miracle change????

Skylar says YES to Sam for Prom


Don turns 54...I'm going in for a kiss and he's not having any of that...still the same after 28 years married. Can't say much...guess I'm still the same too :) Johnson's were down for their Spring Break and were able to celebrate his Dinner with us...look how long Molly's hair has gotten.

Hari Krishna Festival of Colors

The Hari Krishna's have a Temple just outside of Salem, Ut. Each year they have a festival of COLORS...a festival of LOVE...it has become a HUGE event...people travel from miles and states around to attend. All the kids went...wish I had pics of the others, but you get the idea. ..They have bands playing and do count downs to the chalk throwing. The kids LOVE to go....I am saving their clothes this year for NEXT year...cuz this chalk stuff doesn't come out so easy. These manly men now have a few items of pink apparel.