Friday, May 30, 2014

Gratitude note to self

Just a note about things I appreciate in America after just getting home from England:
Road size, driving on the side we do, less round abouts,  room sizes, storage, car size, SUNSHINE, DRY clothes, showers 2 people could fit in, dishwashers, "Tumble dry dryers", parking lots.
 New words to borrow and use more frequently:
Shattered, niggle, keen, bits.


If I am to keep traveling, I have to create some boundaries for myself...and THEN stick to them. None of the boundaries I feel to set would be challenged by anyone..except ME. I feel like I need to lap up every second in assisting my leaders while I'm gone, and guilty about taking time to BE while I am there. I realized my insanity a few days in.  We were scheduled to the hilt. I did not have ONE day for seeing a castle or a garden...and those are EASY bucket list items when I am there. I will NOT return without scheduling some planned out, see me some English Garden time. With that said...serendipty brought me to a town called Ledbury just before we went to teach a class. We were early, so we stopped. LOVE!!!,-2.422835,3a,75y,12.18h,105.3t/data=!3m4!1e1!3m2!1s2WyARgnahUM9OFzAYZi3Yw!2e0!4m2!3m1!1s0x48704e180b90aea7:0xacd866100adce901!6m1!1e1
Go will be able to scroll up and down the street. If you go down a back alley you will find a French Pastrie shop with a chef who is adorable. It was raining (THE WHOLE TIME, all 14 days, except for one Sunday it broke), the shops closed at 5 and we got there right at 5...but it was enchanting anyway.As you walked the cobble stone street there would be magazine perfect gates with english gardens welcoming you down the path...and I SO BADLY wanted to enter and see what and who it would bring me .

My morning alone time for ALL my healthy mind/body/soul rituals is more than a nicety. This is a MUST SCHEDULE while I am traveling. It is a need. It is currency by which my happiness regulates. I spent some time on the flight home assessing and recommitting to change. I definitely struggled without my home routine. I easily get breathed in by the energies around me when I haven't grounded myself. Business traveling is another great teacher shown up to show me ME.  I have never liked being gone from home for more than 4 to 7 days. This 2 weeks was a true test. I failed --excuse me, I EXPERIENCED some more of ME  and openly admit new aspects of  myself. 

OF COURSE the Super Soul Sunday I missed was Shawn Acor author of the Happiness Advantage. 

 The other one  I caught up on this morning was Shefali Tsabary. Ohhhh childrens...I hope all of us can embrace her way of parenting. The second each of you is expecting your first child I will send this as a Momma Love book...but it...forgive me for my imperfect parenting...learn from all she has to teach. When you watch her you can FEEL her sparkly and assuredness. Just missing you. I was frustrated to be in the Seattle airport with so little time between flights..SOOO Close to Josh. Talking on the phone was good. Sending hugs through the phone really does work sometimes. I have tons more to say about BOTH of these light workers. I'd much rather you expose yourselves and create your own connection.

I love our home. I LOVE IT! The salvia is all purple, the clematis is about to burst, the geraniums and allysum are gorgous, the climbing roses red and lush. The grass is so green. SUNSHINE makes me HAPPY. The Pool MAKES ME HAPPY. Heading out there now. Excited to be there alone with the quiet of only me. But don't you worry...won't take much before I am missing you and wishing you were on the lounge with me.
Love hard  and loud and big...MISS MExxooxx

Monday, May 26, 2014

Love from SAM in England 26 May 2014

hey family!! 

This week was great! I do not have a lot of time so this will probably be quite short! It was another great week for Elder Costigan and I. The zone is really doing so well! we have been blessed so much to have the missionaries that are in Leicester at the moment! We are pretty sure that we set a mission record for most new investigators in a month! so we are buzzin' about that.  This week there were some sweet miracles. We decided to go to Leicester for the day of transfers to help the teams with their luggage and belongings and seeing them off on their trains and buses to their new areas. This left us with 2 hours where we had no plans, and it would have been a waste of time to drive back to Loughborough, so we decided we were going to street contact at the Leicester city center.  Elder Costigan and I split up and in 2 hours we were able to find 28 potential investigators! none of them will be for us because Leicester itself isn't our area, but it was fun to able to find for the other teams in the zone and go to a place where neither of us had been before.  one of the potentials that Elder Costigan found actually is a uni-student from Loughborough and we were able to teach her and she is now on a baptismal date for the 21st of June! on the 21st we have 4 baptisms scheduled, and on the 7th we have a chinese investigator named David who is looking really solid! he came to church yesterday and loved it! received answers to his questions and he is really feeling the spirit in his life.  

tomorrow I take my drivers test again, and I would like to ask each of you to pray for me! the driving is soooo different here and it's much harder and I really need to be able to pass this test so that we will be able to go on more exchanges to help our zone, so please pray for me to be able to be relaxed and to pass the test which I will take tomorrow morning! I love all of you so much! I also know that the church is true! Elder Defeo, an area 70 came to our stake conference and he was INCREDIBLE. it's amazing to see how carefully he listened for what the spirit was trying to teach him, and during both the saturday and sunday sessions, he looked for patterns in the meeting, and free-styled 2 different talks based on how he was feeling the spirit. His Sunday session talk was one of the best I've heard in my life, out of any that have been in general conference or anywhere. He told the stories of Christ raising people from the dead in the New Testamanent.  No one in the world is spiritually dead. we may think that people have no chance of accepting the gospel, or of finding happiness, or improving their lives, but when the savior lays his hands on them, they will awake. No one is spiritually dead, they are only sleeping! my challenge to each of you is find those of your loved ones you feel are dead, and wake them up! love them and serve them and have faith that the savior can do anything! 

Have an amazing week! talk to you soon! 

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Love from England

Ohhhh Mi Hijos..TE QUIERO!!!!!
I had a most ODD dream where I was dreaming in SPANISH and  spoke and understood as if it was my native tongue. I am still pondering it. I thought you could only dream in a language in which you had competent skills. ODD. Dreams are fascinating. The most fascinating part was that the dream was all about me sorting laundry on the line with each of you. We would stand at the line with all of your clothes in the wicker basket and one by one loved the pieces that belonged to you. As we would finish putting them on the line we would stand back and be washed in the warmth of the sun and the light breeze. At the end, we were all together laying on the ground with our arms outstretched just FEELING the love! Interestingly, there were 3 extra loved ones with us...and one was Olivia...yep...this curly haired little toddler that would get up and toddle to each of us with her loves, hugs and kisses. I LOVE ME a DREAM!!! Here I am IN ENGLAND, dreaming in Spanish. Like I said...ODD...but the adored, safe, loved, BEAUTIFUL FEELING of it is tucked safe inside.

Sam is an hour away. ONE HOUR. One hourS.

I had my first run around Dallington Park. I am heading out for my second. Pretty much bursting with HAPPY that my foot didn't even have a twinge afterwards. Taking Brene with me. Watched a TED talk of hers that had escape me. Everyone here is off to church. I am reveling in my private chapel...I had not realized how accustomed I have been to my alone time with all of you gone. It's sacred to me. I will be more aware and choose to make it happen for me.

Sacred. Brings my heart back to each of you and the clothes we hung together. Each article was bursting with love, each was so unique from the other....and so many pieces for each of you. As we layed there I marveled that anyone would have had TIME to hang so much. I am still awed, honored, that I AM THE ONE who got to handle them, hang them on the line with you for all to see. As we layed in the grass, the clothes swaying on the line, in the wind, played a magical melody and each piece brought forth its own tones...notes I guess you'd say...a perfect, truly enchanting, MOVING symphony. It was ours. It wasn't get up and dance music. It was FEEL THE LOVE music.

Wherever you are, whatever you have chosen to wear off the are exquisite. I can't help but think of Michael coming in at 3 or 4 in EVERY super hero costume we owned along with every weapon he could wield.

Love yourself. Hug people more. MISS ME. Call me when you can. Listen for the music you are making that brings the world peace.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Sunday, May 11, 2014


 Soooooo Herman had almost a double sized head when I got back from Florida...I knew I had to wait for morning for the morning the huge infection had burst and he was SO poorly. The vet had to do surgery to open it up and really get it cleaned out. He came home with a tube sticking out of each side of his head for drainage. Yeah, I can't look. The took his manhood as well. Hopefully this will keep him out of fights. I've had itchy welts and sneezing and scratching all week from all the love. I still think it is a mess up in the universe that I could be allergic to something I LOVE! By the first night he was already 90% better...and tomorrow I go to take him to get the tube out...if he hasn't pulled it out himself. You know how I say NEVER say NEVER? Well...its got me again. Yes I DID pay for a surgery for a cat. And, I'd do it again for HERMAN the wonder dog cat.

Photo: The best momma ever !
I LOVED that Spencer found this and posted it today :) I miss the days of snuggle naps where I crash before YOU! It was a MOST perfect day!! I LOVED waking up to having ALL of you on the phone. Sam...I LOVE WHEN YOU MAKE US LAUGH!!!!!! Seeing you is such a comfort. I LOVE SKYPE!!!! Michael...thanks for the pic and waking up early...Josh..thanks for the call and getting up early too...Megs...LOVE the succulent and my BAD A card :),  Spencer...we can do the bubbles together tomorrow if the weather perks up. And Don...LOVE MY Flower tubs for the pool and front porch!!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU LOVES!!!!

Once we got off the phone I spent the rest of my day catching up on Oprah's Super Soul Sunday's that I've missed while traveling!  I have to trainings to prepare for...but after hearing Arianna Huffington talk about the importance of taking a break and turning work off...I just melted most contentedly into the love seat for the WHOLE DAY!!!  Megs and Spencer started showing me music video's I haven't seen before---which you KNOW I LOVE...and then a few sketches of Jimmy Fallon..Today we've had master classes from Justin Timberlake, Alicia Keyes, Morgan Freeman....heart to heart with Elizabeth Lesser,Thich Nhat Hanh, Arianna Huffington...what a DAY!!! Megs downloaded new songs to my IPOD and I am ready to dance the streets of Lindon in the morning....HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!!! I feel filled to the top.

I head to London on Thursday and will be gone for 2 weeks. THAT IS A LONG TIME FOR ME to be pray for me will you? My inner compass gets wacky after a 4 days. I am THRILLED there is so much going on in London for me to need to be there that long...will work to get 2 to 3 to founder this trip. Makes my heart beat FAST!!!! I LOVE my builders will be most pleasurable.

It so does not FEEL like May..I still haven't been in the pool since its been so cold. High of 50 today...ARGH!

I love you. I really really love you. THANK YOU for each of your parts in making me a MOTHER. Mother is my favoritest role in life so far. I wonder if Grandmother will supersede that? SOMEDAY I will know :)
Word on the street is that it DOES...but I can't imagine it being better than day to day with YOU!!!!

So many thoughts about living today that I want to MAKE you take notes ...but I'll limit it to just quoting RUMI as shared by Arianna Huffington:


Cuz it is you know :) All of it. everything is a lesson to aid us in our love transformations.

OK...just got to share Thich Nhat Hanh's thoughts on DEEP LISTENING/COMPASSIONATE LISTENING. He says that we listen with only one purpose--to help him or her empty their heart. Listening with compassion gives them a chance to suffer less. Even if he/she says things full of wrong perceptions--you WAIT for ANOTHER time, NOT THEN to come back and discuss. Just LISTEN. Just BE THERE for them, with them. (just like Kate Braestreap's book HERE IF YOU NEED ME) One hour of this can bring amazing self healing and transformation.  (My sweet Barb have listened to my whole life since I was 21...YOU ARE THE PERFECT LISTENER AND LOVE!!!!!!) PLEASE Childrens...? Take the time and listen to the whole discussion? It will resonate in your heart and relieve your mind that you KNOW how and what to do the next time you are with someone in pain or sadness or conflict.

It's exciting to wonder what our week will bring us!!??!! I will get HOURS on the flight with a delightful book...think I'm taking Mark Nepo and Thomas Merton with me :) I will need to prepare for my presentation in London..but it won't take 13 hours!! :)  :)  I will spend much of that time dreaming of being with you. So many adventures for us to have still...

I LOVE BEING YOUR MOM xxxoooxxxoooxxxoooxxxoooxxxoooxxx

Monday, May 5, 2014

May 5 2014 Love from Sam

oh my gosh we've MAY'd it! heheh This week was great! our zone is doing excellent and it is fun to be a missionary in Leicester right now!  I am really getting used to Loughborough as I think I have said last week, the ward, the people, my companion, my district, and my zone, they are all great!  

Last P-day we just played volleyball with the sisters in  Loughborough, and then we were able to teach Virginia and Jill!

Elder Costigan and I have been trying something new with our university student investigators, when we first GQ them, we let them know that our lesson will only be 10 minutes, and then when we meet with them we stick to our ward, share the restoration or plan of salvation or whatever we feel prompted to, in less than 10 minutes! many of our investigators have wanted to have return appointments because they know it's not taking a lot out of their busy schedules and it's finals right now!  

On Wednesday morning I was having a really good personal study and feeling the spirit really strong, I felt prompted to study patterns. God works in patterns in our lives, and he wants us to be able to pay attention to what has been effective for each of us in our lives and to continuous evaluate and improve our efforts in whatever we choose to be important in our individual lives.  I was looking at the people that I have been able to teach and baptize and I realized that these were all people that were way more an actual friend than an investigator-missionary relationship.  Love breeds conversion!  obvious statement but it hit me over the head and I felt silly for not thinking about this earlier on.  We prayed loads about what we needed to start doing in companionship study to bring more people into the gospel, and we thought that we should try visiting loads of less actives!  We spent probably 15 or so hours visiting less actives this week, and only got in with 2 of them.. but we saw SO many miracles on the way!! 

On the way to a less active, we have found some incredible people, and have gotten to meet a really cool part-member family that we are going to start working with. If we can't retain the people that are already in the church, why would Heavenly Father give us more people?? 

We committed 5 people to come to church, and the morning of, we received 5 text messages of why they couldn't come any more, and we were a little bit discouraged, we prayed that we would be able to see a miracle and have someone show up to church. 10 minutes before the meeting started we got a phone call from our chinese recent convert, hannah. She was so exited to tell us that she was bringing a friend to church and that we needed to fellowship her! her friends name is legitimately meow-meow. chinese people rock! haha she is really great and we will now be teaching her! 

Jill is really progressing!! she is so exited for her baptism on saturday and in her own words, "nothing is going to stop me from being baptized. If I have to wait in the font until someone comes in to baptize me for a couple of weeks I'll do it!" she is incredible and we are so blessed to be able to teach her. it's about time is all I can say though haha. 

So.. Sister Kear in Loughborough ward said she'll be swimming in our pool sometime in June?? tell me more about that! I told them that mom would be able to give their daughter a great deal on real estate, so mom, hook it up for some people that are taking great care of me on my mission! they are 2 incredible people, with the most adorable grandchildren in the world! I'm exited for you to meet them. I could see dad and brother kear becoming great friends!  

I Will be skyping on Sunday at around 4 o clock! so... 9 o clock your time?? I am looking forward to seeing you all! I can't believe it's been a year since I have skyped you on last mothers day. absolutely mad.  

Well, I sure love you all so much! I'm so grateful for this experience of coming on a mission and the difference that it has made in my life and the lives of others, I cannot say thank you enough mom and dad for letting me come out here and share The saviors gospel!! 

Talk to you soon! :) 

Elder Sam Harris. 

Sunday, May 4, 2014


Remember that kids book I use to love to read you ALL THE PLACES TO LOVE?? Where the parents carved  the names of the new babies as they came into the family on the barn rafters? How the paintings looked like driving up Zero Street in Salem? That book was always about the FEELING that it gave me...and yes...WE have SO MANY PLACES TO LOVE...and now...
ANOTHER!!!!!!! After Florida I flew to Atlanta and we drove and hour east to Ball Ground Georgia...well...I am just SMITTEN with ALL of GEORGIA that I saw on that drive! SO GREEN....SO ROLLING...and the Architecture is JUST RIGHT...I was Goldilocks...and the porridge was pretty perfect too! I hope for us some time in Georgia...
Photo: Teaching my first AromaTouch therapy me some Florida♥♥♥

This week I taught my first Aroma Touch Therapy Certification classes. This was the one in Gainesville.
I'm continually in awe at the remarkable people that walk into my life with this business. I want more time to just BE with all of them. I was thrilled and surprised that 13 signed up! Healers have a calming, heart settling, peaceful, relaxed nature about them that bring my fiery energy into a low burn. THANK YOU to Grace Hawkins for opening up her home and letting us move all her furniture to fit everyone. I breath deep with gratitude that there are now 13 people in North Florida who can share this gift.

You KNEW this was coming! THANK YOU AUNT JEREMI for suggesting this book! I am in love with this Marci woman...the second Marci with an "i" that I love. (Marci Palmer...miss you and LOVE YER GUTZ!) This Marci gave me my new mantra "LIFE IS MY LOVER!" Amen. Amen. Amen.  She has looked into the world and gathered LOVE LUMINARIES---people who give light to what and how Loving can be--and shares their wisdom with us. That was too cryptic of a summary..I didn't mean to  slaughter the AMAZINGNESS of the book...but I think you'll hang in with me for that long of a review:) ! You,  my LOVIES, YOU are MY LIFE LOVE LUMINARIES!!!!!!

Yeppers...more Brene...PLEASE PLEASE take a listen??? It's on audible! You know the drill! My treat!
Brene is one of my best friends and she doesn't even know it. I want to cry when its time to close the book or the audio ends.

Have I told you how much I love flying days?? I have it down to a science :) I board the plane with my headphones on...its an understood barrier in plane communication...and it means...I really need you to let me just zen out while I am 50,000 feet in the air pretending its totally normal to be up there. I'm not here for the meet and greet. I'm here for the zen. I look for somebody who FEELS interesting...I sit next to them...IF the ju ju stays...AFTER I have my fill of love tending ZEN...I take the head phones off, and magic begins.
Sue Gombus

Today..I met Sue Gombus: wildlife painter and photographer. Sue was a teacher in the inner city of Chicago for 25 years. At retirement she reinvented herself. She's NEVER had an art class...or a photography class...and now she is world renowned at 63. She DIDN"T EVEN KNOW SHE COULD PAINT till she started "dabbling around" after retirement. She travels alone because her husband hates to travel. I HIT THE JU JU JACKPOT with this woman. The Universe drew me to her.  I was sad I didn't take those head phones off till the last third of the flight once we started talking. Our connection electrified my soul longings. We believe in the same God that provides LOVE, NEW LOVES, JOY, OPPORTUNITIES, GIFTS when we open ourselves up. Another soul sister freely given. Joyously received. I am magnetized to people who like their own authentic selves.Sue is here to get bird migration pics. She's never seen a mountain goat so I get to be the LUCKY WOMAN to hike her up Mt. Timpanogos on her next trip. Sue has been to Africa the last 11 years in a row to shoot the animals...Go to her site and check out her stuff:
Another thing to love about her...she flies to see her grand babies once a month. She's living my dream.

I drove on the highway in a rain storm this week on the way to a builder recruiter dinner in Orlando. You couldn't see the road or anything ahead for how much rain was flooding down. I was nervous. The sound of the rain on the car took me to my childhood. I was on a toll road. We don't have those in Utah. You pay to drive a quicker route or to have a nicer road. I prayed for comfort and wisdom in knowing whether to pull over or to keep slowly edging along. I was flooded with life analogies to the storm. It lasted about half hour. In the end I was grateful for all the toll roads that have been paid ahead for me in this life by the car ahead. AND for the tail lights of those ahead of me...

I have been falling into amazing vegetarian recipes. I was served sweet potato enchiladas. I can choose this part time. Baby steps.

Herman has a bizarre abscess or growth on his left check. Hard to tell if its from a fight or a growth or what...he's so not looking well...will take him to the vet tomorrow...but he may be leaving us.

I was sad to not be here when Michael came back for a few days before his Alaska Adventure. Talked to him tonight and he is safe and settling. I was happy to have Spencer sprawled on the couch when I walked in the door. SO EXCITED for you Joshy that the Paddy Coins job came through:) Interested in an update on the elusive woman...xxooxx Had a sweet dream...think someone is coming around soon :) Megs came for dinner and Ryan popped by just counting days till next SUNDAY when we get to talk to Sammers for my MOTHER'S DAY LOVE GIFT!!!!!

You know how thrilled I am that the pool was opened...a sweet 86 degrees :) Thanks to Dad for all the work he did to get the leaves out and get it cleaned and ready. I am READY for SUMMER!!!! The bikes are in the garage, the air conditioning is on, the salvia is up and blooming, the partridge are nesting in the front clematis, and my fingers are aching to start planting the annuals.

A purple spark in my week was a sweet exchange with a pastor friend I have collected in my travels. Now we are pen pals. Life buddies. Heart examiners.  Acts 10 was the text. Peter's rooftop vision. I love Peter as you know. I feel kindred to the way  he holds the Savior as his bestie, the way he barges awkwardly in, doesn't keep his promises, is sure he can do and be all, and then dejected when he isn't. I hope you'll take a second and have a quick read. But the 2 shared thoughts I keep lingering in are these- 1-the need for RULES, but God's need for us to see past them, 2-What is it that is "unclean" that  we want God to make "clean" for us in our own lives?

I love you I love you I love you. As always, you are in my prayers. I wanted to leave you with this thought from the newly beloved Marci

"When you experience LOVE FOR NO REASON, you no longer need to look outside yourself to get love. You stop being a love beggar and become a love philanthropist, dispensing love, kindness, and goodwill wherever you go".