Letter from Josh 30 March 2009

Hey Family!

I miss you all sooooo much! This week has been crazy and not so much fun. My companion spends all of his alotment money on stuff that nobody needs and then is out of money very quickly. and since it is the end of the month, hehas been out for the past week and a half now. I told him i would ay for the things that we need like food, transport, etc, but he is still mad that i wont just hand him money. Which i wont do because i know he wil go spend it on nonsense items again. Lets just say it sucks to live with somebody that is pist at you all the time for no good reason. I feel like i am being very kind and helpfull to pay for the necesities, he thinks i am a "selfish bastard" (bastard is not a swear word hear, neither is damn or hell or ass). But the month is almost over and then we will be able to get along for another couple weeks until he blows all his money again. Other than that things are going well. We had a baptism yeasterday. His name is George, he is a great kid, in his early twenties, dont know his exact age but only cause i havent bothered to look at that part of his teaching record. And we are going to extend the commitment to be aptised to 5 of our investigators this week (Silvia, Anita, Steve, Steve, and Faiza) their baptisms will probably be at the end of the month, and the branch president is pushing us to baptise Silvia as fast as possible because he wants to make her the relief society president. She is amazing and is pretty much serving in the calling right now anyways. One of the other Elders here had the worst week of his life, i feel bad for the kid! first he got a dear john, and then the next day he fell into the rain gutter (it is like seven feet deep) and landed on his face. luckily nothing was broken, but his whole head is supper swolen and one side of his face is just covered in a giant scab from where his face was scraped. He should be back to normal within a few days though, poor kid.
I do keep a journal but it is only every few days and it is kind of only because i know that someday i will regret it if i dont, but i cant say that i get too much out of it like you are mom. although one thing that i have learned aboutmyself here is that i do need time to just sit an think, with no distractions, just me and silence. It is hard to find that on mission, and i have been climbing up on top of the roof to get that alone time lately. I was going crazy my first bit here before i started climbing the house (it always reminds me of Greg when i start to climb it too, i swear he can climb up anything). Thanks for the reminder of Gregs b-day, but he should know there is already a package on the way to him, i really hope it doesnt take too long to get there. and as far as the shorts go i do want the khaki ones. there should be two pairs in my stuff somewhere but then again i would not be the least bit suprised if mike walked off with them after i left, or sam, spencer would suprise me a bit, but only because he would say they were too big and mike and sam wouldnt care if they were too big.
Tell Rachel congrats for me!!!!!! i cant believe the wedding is this week, i am sure it will be amazing! I am glad Grandad is talking to you again, i know that wil make you worry a lot less about him, or more depending on whats going on, but less in general. I wish i knew what else to say, everything just seems so different at home now. I love you all! have a great week!

Love,
Elder Harris

P.S. i got the easter package saturday, i was shocked i got it so quickly, thanks for all the mini eggs! but i still havent got my memory card back since i sent it to you at christmas, and i am worried since you said you had sent it. What was it sent in? anyways, love you lots! Thanks for everything!

TRUEVILLE...

Josh I checked that you haven't seen the BLOG yet so I thought I'd put these on....got dressed to go run and haven't been watching the news and had NO IDEA when I went out the front door that we were going to have this!!! Like 6 or 7 inches and STILL COMING!!! So glad Megan got in last night ahead of it...

Megan is HOME!!!

Okay...so she had to get these LOVE SHOTS...still NOT great shots of me...but SO our house and SO Megan...so...here's loving you BUD!!!!

Sunday Dinner

It was SO NICE to be invited to someone else's house for dinner!!! Denise and Jared made a yummy roast and mashed potatoes and fruit and green beans and homemade roles....YUM!!!! But the best treat I think was Sarah their 3 year old. I kid you not, at dinner she asked "would you like to join me in my room when you are finished eating?" The JOIN ME was so formal for such a happy bouncy loving little thing...she likes to change her dresses through out the day:) . Sarah is a CHARMING CHATTY and a perfect delight for any party. This is a sweet family --Jared is our Home Teacher, and we haven't loved our Home Teachers for quite a few years now...and Jared broke the pattern...and best of all...is teaching our boys how to be good home teachers. We updated them on you Josh...oh...so GLAD tomorrow is Monday...so ready to HEAR from you.

With Dad gone for these 2 weeks I have delighted in just being my OWN WOMAN...Dad takes offense at this and asks WHEN have I NOT been my OWN WOMAN...well...I can name ALOT of ways...I leave the TV on and sometimes stay up until after midnight and he is not there to turn off the alarm or tell me I'm crazy for still getting up at 4....I stay in the shower until the hot water runs out...I leave the Sequoia parked outside and no one says a word. No one worries about what lights are left on or off...just to name a few...

Children, I think all marriages need a break every now and then.

Josh Rachel gets married this week and Greg's birthday is the 3rd or the 6th??? Knew you wouldn't want to forget.

Josh are you keeping a journal? I'm not pressuring you...I know it's not for everyone...but I sure have enjoyed the lessons I might have missed had I not gotten quiet and written about things...MANY times I have been given insights while writing that I would have missed if I hadn't. Although I'm not so sure that I am as introspective as you are in the first place.

March Madness, Golf Opens are on constantly...Survivor will be so fun for you to catch up on...Lost as well.

As you read, GrandDad is speaking to me again. Now he and Olive are in a dither because when she went on her bus tour he picked up this other lady friend named Doris who wants to be in the picture and Olive is ticked...even though she says she is NOT with GrandDad. Pray. GrandDad could not find ANYONE better than Olive. She is an earth angel for me.

Brother Meeks made it through another week.

Megan will get back from her cruise late tonight... we are excited to see pictures and get the lowdown. Dad is living his dream doing the missionary thing with Ren. I'm just glad I'm NOT there. Still have vivid yucky memories of Brazil.

Katie Wild is engaged. Richard Bean comes home in June...Norene came by today for the first time in forever and was sweet to catch up. Rachel just gets more and more beautiful...I will be surprised if she is around when you get back. Since Jake left, no sign or sound from David.

Dad and Chris came to Sam's double header...that was a nice surprise. Who knows what is up with those 2? Haven't heard from Jeremy or Preston for a few weeks...missing them...will call them tomorrow.

I've been reading like crazy with Dad gone and so few clients...I LOVE to stuff myself like that. This week I read this book by the Psychic Sylvia Browne THE OTHER SIDE AND BACK...I just can't get enough of the HOPE that is spread in these kinds of books...along with her LOVE imagery of God. I've also studied a few other books related to Body talk. It blows me away how little I really have known or understood about my own body...even like WHERE some of my parts ARE!! I am about to finish up this book on Christ and the Maya Calendar...when we were in Cancun it really sparked my interest with all their astrological buildings that shoot rays of light into holly patterns and places depending on the sun, moon and star cycles...and they foretold religious events with these ...SO INTERESTING!!! This week when the new moon was upon us...I could FEEL it...something to all of this..obviously...just like to know and understand. Interesting that the world at large has abandoned these teachings.

Buddy...HOW ARE YOU????? Yes I am sending tomorrow the stuff you wanted last week...shorts...I am assuming like your Kahki shorts? Jean shorts? What waist size? Do you need more t-shirts? And the recipe book...

I love you. I looked out into the back yard and saw this big orange chunk with the snow melted and it made me think of when you use to take the cheese and go hide from me and eat it till you were sick...it was just one of the water fight sponges...but I missed ya good there for awhile.

I love you. I LOVE YOU....I luv ya...I'm proud of you...I MISS YOU...I pray for you...I send you energy messages...I send all the grandma's and grandpa's to visit you....I'm still on the look out for the perfect wife...:)....I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XXXOOOXXXOOOXXXOOOXXOOOXXXOOOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mom

Wht

FUN FRIDAY

Paul brought the kids to town for Spring Break so I got to have Sam and Mollie for the afternoon...we had barely broken out the play doe when the rest of the neighborhood tribe showed up...I was in heaven!!! We played doll house, pegs, race track, domino knock em down and ended up coloring Easter Eggs...I felt bad, I only had enough eggs for each of them to do 4 a piece...but it was glorious...most of them had never colored on their eggs before dying them so it was "magic" for them to see them turn out. And bless sweet Mylania's heart...she ATE all four of hers!! She'd dye one and eat it and then do it again and again. Aingsley liked taking pictures as much as dying the eggs...I had to sort through over 60 pics to choose some for here...
I couldn't help but think how much you'd would have liked to have been here Josh. Mollie is smart as a whip...3 in December and starting to read!!! She had to write EGG on everything that I would let her. And then Michaela kept asking if she could be the Boss of everyone...I finally told her she'd have to ask THEM how they felt about it...dang if they all didn't say SURE (you know McKay Sanders wasn't here...he never would have told her yes!!)SO she spent most of the time telling them exactly what to do and HOW to do it...reminded me so much of Megan I couldn't quit laughing.

Sam's Ball team

Josh...here's a look at Sam's Freshman team. I could spit that I didn't take pictures at the double header yesterday. In yesterday's first game they were ahead through all six innings, then they put a new nervous pitcher in and they came from 7 behind to beat us. The second game they put Sam in to pitch, and he pitched 6 of the 7 innings and closed them out in 67 pitches...He was freaking amazing...my heart and nerves were pounding...even though all I did was sit there I needed a nap when it was over. I got pretty fried...I put on sunscreen for my skin cancer, but it must be old or out of date, because I fried the most where I applied it the heaviest. Emma Southard (31/2) told me at church today that I needed to get permission from my mom before I could put on that much make up :)

This picture was taken at the parents meeting where they told us we had to now sell 2/$350 banners to hang on the field as well as 1 $50 blanket. I think not...they got a week of my life for the auction and at this point, even though real estate isn't so lovely, I'd still rather write a check.It is just WRONG to me that is could cost so much. it sure makes Sam a happy Sam though...and you know how I love the games....such good cute boys on the team...Mitch HOuston is the only one I knew from before...he still hasn't grown yet...but no matter---I think his batting average is in the 700's and that boy can play second base!!! In the first game they had Sam at 3rd...he made a sweet, but mother heart stopping dive for a catch that he made and I think it will be remembered by all for quite awhile...
Now we just need the dang weather to start co=operating!!

GrandDad HOME...maybe

Just talked to GrandDad...he did not say he was sorry, but he started crying when he got on the phone and then of course I did too and he said he just wanted us both to forget everything that happend when he left and that he loved me. I said I wish I could, but that the issue that brought us to that disagreement is still alive even as we speak since the only reason the hospital released him was because Olive said she would tend to him...and Olive is not willing to MOVE IN with him. He got a little agitated and said the Dr's don't know what the ---- they are talking about and he will be fine. I told him I loved him and would do it his way, but that it was super hard on me to have him so far needing help and not able to give it. His nose started bleeding again while on the phone with me, so now they are proabaly heading BACK to the hospital because they couldn't get it to stop while I waited over 5 minutes on the phone.

Olive got on and said the Vet's? office came to the hospital and finally followed through on my call from January and that they are going to get some Home Health Care into him on a regular basis now ...I asked her if it was like hospice and she said the Dr's were not allowed to tell her a diagnosis. But that there was SOME issue or the Vet's would not be offering the Home HEalth Care.
SOOoo...when I get home in a bit I will call Dr. Donald and see what he can tell me. Keep praying.

GRANDDAD IN THE HOSPITAL

Olive called to say GrandDad is in the hospital. He doesn't want me to come. They are hoping to release him first thing tomorrow morning. He is having struggles with his nose bleeds again. They start and then he can't get them to stop. They have already cotterized it twice this past week...(been to the hospital twice in the Ambulance)...this time they kept him and are thinking to put in a balloon??? Never heard of that but that is what Olive said. Please pray...Thanks, I'll keep you updated.

Letter from, Josh 23 March 2009

Hello Everybody!

So, Dar Salaam does mean hotter then hell, that may not be the translation of the words, but thats what it means. Dar was fun though. We were on the bus all day tuesday and then tuesday night we went to a dinner at one of the members houses, and then played monopoly, i miss board games, and to all of your suprise, i didnt win. I was going to, and then one of the other elders went to bed early and gave all his property and money to the elder that would have taken second and it screwd me over. But wednesday was the actual mission tour and it was really good. i had to give a talk. aparently they sent a message to everybody telling us to prepare these two talks and then two elders would be chosen at mission tour to give them, but my comp is the one that has the phone and forgot to tell me, so i had to make it all up on the spot. I didnt do too bad i think, but it dofinitely could have been better. and then we had a great training by elder Koilleker who is in the area presidency, and he promised us that if we make sure that all of our investigators KNOW the pattern of prayer and why prayer is important then the missions baptisms will double. he also gave us some impressive statistics like that there were 6,900 baptisms in Africa last year, which is an average of 9 baptisms per missionary. a bit crazy, but apparently true. Pres Taylor also gave a good training on possitive affirmations and their inportance in missionary work. I got to see Elder Thornton there and that was fun, plus it is always fun to be with a big group of missionarys (by big i mean 12, the mission tour in kenya has the other 48 missionarys attending). Thursday we spent on the bus again and by the time we got home we were just exausted and went to bed and we had forgotten to report in. friday morning when we woke up we had 20 missed calls, about 10 from the zl's and 8 from the ap's and 2 from president. when we called them in the morning to say sorry they thought we had lost the phone on the bus or something, and then got mad at us since we still had the phone. Friday and saturday were just kinda wierd cause Dar threw off our schedule and it felt like we just spent both days running around like chickens with their heads cut off. then yesterday and today have been good and things are back to normal.
I am stoked for Jake and glad to hear that dave is working on his papers. mom, the girl in that picture is not shraderbabe, it is anna spencer. maybe shrader was there too, but that was not her. and thanks for all of the pictures! no matter what you say that was not a bad picture of you. And is Dianna mom losing weight? that pic makes it look like it, nice to see you and her and Gary. I love you all sooooooo much! i hope everything is great at home, glad everything is clean and organized, you can come do my apartment next .

Love,
Elder Harris

P.S. got the valentines package from the fam, but there was a note that said mom and dads was seperate, and that one i didnt get.
P.S.S. could you send me one of those recipe books that meg typed up a few years ago, i am getting a bit tired of the same stuff over and over. and could you also send me a pair of my shorts? i only brought jeans and it is to hot to wear jeans, even if it is just on p-day.

Josh by Gosh---I LOVE YOU!!!

I am so frustrated...somehow I just deleted my whole post to you...so now I'm starting over.

I tried to take one of those I LOVE YOU shots of myself like Megan does...but this is the best I could get. TRUE MOTHER LOVE is the only thing allowing me to post this...I will now have a mission to get a good picture of me for you for next week. You would think at 46 I wouldn't care...but I do. I want you to have the BEST image of me possible ...it's been 19 weeks after all...

Just so you know..I keep posting pictures of you with the animals for Ty on my blog.

Below is PROOF of my cleaning binge. I don't think I have ever had the whole top floor this organized...having older kids really makes a difference. I have gotten such a buzz out of it...I want to open every cupboard, drawer, closet...etc when I walk by just to LOOK at how neat it all looks!!! I've also loved remembering that I LIKE to get rid of stuff...LESS IS MORE for me. Don't worry..I didn't touch YOUR stuff. I am hoping to do the whole basement this week...but I won't throw out anything of yours...

I've also learned that I LIKE BEING ALONE sometimes. With Dad gone, and the rest so busy with their own stuff...by 6:45 last night I was IN BED with my jammies on and I watched Twilight and the John Adams PBS series..HEAVEN!!! This is kind of like the vacation -at -home I always wanted when you were kids.

I caught Dianna and Gary just before sacrament to get their picture knowing I was short on news for you. I LOVE the way SHE LOVES YOU!!! Pretty sure she and I were duking it out over you and Greg in the pre-existence until someone interceeded and said..."OK, YOU get Josh and SHE gets Greg and I'll let you live close to each other so you can all be best friends and not separated." She sends her REAL, FEEL IT TO THE CORE, LOVE to you..!!!!

I've devoured 2 books this week...one on marriage (I'll spare you the details until you get there--and then I'll just loan it to you) and the other on realizing your potential. Carolyn Myss is the author of the potential book--SACRED CONTRACTS. I LOVE to find spirit/mind food that keeps me chewing and questioning and sorting...I was parallel cleaning my soul while going for it in the house. I never even wanted my IPOD. I have been studying the TAO and the Quran a bit lately and I get so excited when you can take the truths from other cultures, stir it in with our scripture and words from women like Caroline and get this amazing PICTURE that helps me to see what is truth for ME more clearly. I love that we are eternal beings and that I don't have to panic, that time is an illusion, I WILL get all the opportunities I want to learn and experience and love...so MANY things and people to know and love.

Jim Meeks is not doing well. The whole ward prayed for him today...it will not be long. You may want to Face Book Clayton....and of course...Pray. XXOOXX

Megan is going on another cruise --this THURSDAY!!! I kid you not. I want to be spontaneous like her! I'm going to work on that...

I love you. Always and forever...so so so waiting for my "Monday" to finally come...

Learned any life lessons this week? Made any new life resolves?

My life lesson was that I can relax...I will get to love everything and everyone that I want.

My life resolve is to continue to BE ME...to only say it if I mean it, to only do it if I WANT, or it feels RIGHT...This resolve is taking some time to implement. But hey...what is time to eternal beings? THANK YOU For choosing me to spend some of your eternity with ...unless of course I co-erced you into it...even then...thanks for coming!!!!

Draper Temple Dedication

I am just home from the dedication. It was a sweet meeting. I love that we sang the first 2 verses of THE SPIRIT OF GOD

The Spirit of God like a fire is burning;The latter day glory begins to come forth;The visions and blessings of old are returning;The angels are coming to visit the earth.
We'll sing and we'll shout with the armies of heaven:Hosanna, hosanna to God and the Lamb!Let glory to them in the highest be given,Henceforth and forever: amen and amen!
The Lord is extending the saints' understanding—Restoring their judges and all as at first;The knowledge and power of God are expandingThe vail o'er the earth is beginning to burst.

As the Prophet told the story of Elder Groberg admonishing the Tongan Saints to do their own family names that THOSE WHO WERE IN CHARGE OF TEMPLE WORK would be INSPIRED to bring them their own temple....My heart could not help but cry...I HAVE done my own names...and I PRAY that those will come forward to inspire those in charge of TEMPLES to at least THINK about how God and his SON feels about having a dedication without even ONE SINGLE VOICE of his daughters to be heard....and then in the prayer as he blessed us that our minds would course with truth due to attendance...again...let CHANGE hasten FASTER...especially where women are concerned. So thankful to live in a day and age when I can speak MY truth.

I will continue to have FAITH that the LORD IS EXTENDING the Saints understanding...that the veil over the earth will soon burst. And that once it is burst, the Saints will not be afraid to the ACT on truth.

Perfect last memory

So, it's about 4:30 and I am sitting in the middle of my TAX mess (as shown in my room below...Don is out of town so I can do it there)working VERY HARD on it I might add... when here comes Jake in his swimsuit (at 63 degrees) outside my window...with containers from our garage..and my water balloons...and then comes Dave and Shrader Babe....Josh...it COULD NOT have been a sweeter final memory for me!!! Jake was set apart at 7 and had not recieved his VISA yet so he was going in to the Provo MTC this morning until it arrived...so this was my final goodbye. I couldn't help but bawl my eyes out...Jake just laughed and said he would have been disappointed if I didn't. Dave is working on his papers right now. Shrader says HEY...:)
I am not a fan of doing my taxes even though I am suppose to do them quarterly. Once I get going I even kind of LIKE getting it all input and categorized...so... I think I'm going to stick with the once a year, keep it in a file and do it all at once method.
SAM MADE THE FRESHMAN BASEBALL TEAM!!!! So...I am so relieved and CANNOT wait for the games to begin...March 25th first game baby!!!
Sam has been revisitng an old love and I am finding paper airplanes everywhere.

I just wanted to share this ADORABLE kids art wall I saw in a home on Monday...they just PAINTED the brown background and then put there kids stuff up on ...so darling. See..I really do need some grandbabies...paper airplanes is as close as I get to pictures for the frig these days!!!

Letter from Josh 16 March 2009

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPENCER! 17, wow, i remember being seventeen, it wasnt that long ago infact, and sometimes i still feel like i am seventeen, but maybe that just because all of my comps have been at least 23 and my current one is turning 27 next month. but i hope you had a fun birthday and i am super jealous of your breakfast, especially the donuts, they sound so good right now. Mom, i am doing very well, i lost my voice this week and sounded like a wheezing truck horn, but my voice is back and all is well. It is so wierd to me that you sense that kind of stuff. Maybe i will be able to do that someday when i am a mother ;) Other than that this week was another really good one. we had a lot of people stop US which is wierd, but it was nice to be stopped for a change and not have to stop them. we are super busy now and have been eating dinner around 10 cause we have apointments and then have to cook when we finally get home. it has been a bit exhausting, but i love every minute of it. The hard part of this week for me was that i was given a book about safaris and climbing kilimanjaro from an investigator in the tourism industry and it has been taunting me to read it all week long and makes me want to go on safari for a few days since everything is within just a few hours of Arusha. I am stoked for Jake, i hope he gets his passport by tuesday so that he can go to the mtc in england. i dont know about him, but the provo mtc would not have been far enough from home to keep me there, especially toward the end of the three weeks. I dont really have any cool stories or anything for you this week, sorry about that. Meg got a new job? like other than the floral deally? where at? anyways, i am excited for her, congrats meg! We have our mission tour this week. i will be leaving for Dar Es Salaam tomorow and will be back her thursday nightish sometime. i am excited, although it really is putting a hold on the investigatrs for this week since we will only have friday-sunday to be about the work. they say you sometimes see animals off in the distance on the drive there (like 8-10 hours depending on the driver) i will try to take pics if i see any. I will probably get the valentines package at the mission tour unless it hadnt arrived in nairobi for pres to bring it. i can truly only recieve mail once every six weeks here, when we have our zone conferences, or in this case, mission tour, but there is a post office here so i can send stuff whenever i want now. i dont know what else to tell you, but I love you all! I hope you are having a great time without me! and mom, i am praying for your friend Carol. Love,Elder Harris

Joshy!!!! Hello LOVE BUG!!!

HOW ARE YOU???? The reason people start their letters out like this is because THAT is what they want to know the most...HOW ARE YOU??? I've had some wierd vibes about you this week...any of them founded or just weird "motherness"? I just pray harder...hope it helps ONE of us :)!!!

Jake and his mom came for dinner again...IF he gets his VISA in time he flies out on Thursday to the MTC in England...if he doesn't have it by Tuesday...he enters the Provo MTC until he gets it...weird huh?? His Grandmom in Florida died, but they buried her in Indiana, so he's been gone this week out to the funeral and they just flew back in today. He is SO READY!!! I wish you could talk to him before he goes...he sends his love and laughs...

Dad left this morning as he already wrote...I'm pretty excited to have a 2 week vacation to get a few projects done...you KNOW how I love to do projects while he is away. I teased him and told him I hope he got to be the first person in his birthday present...totally insinuating a hot tub...you can imagine the lecture that followed. I just smiled. I'm gonna smile even bigger the day I really DO IT...I'll let you know when that is...:)

I think Spring has Sprung. My allergies are bugging me bad. I have this mixed emotion with the whole thing...LOVE SPRING....hate allergies...

I pretty much caught you up on everything that has happend with the other entries that follow for this past week. Been heart filled.

I start regular training back this week. I decided to run the TOP of UTAH and have invited the whole family (Jeremy, Kori, Preston.....Dad) to join me. So far I have Michael and Megan as takers. It will be September 19th so we have the whole summer to get ready!

Megan is thrilled with having a new job...she starts Tuesday. Wishes she could fly somewhere and back before Tuesday am!

Michael took the Sequoia last night and obviously had a snuggle session...back is filled with pillows and blankets...and I'm SURE he is going to COME BACK HOME and clean up HIS mess and put everything back JUST THE WAY HE FOUND IT...ESPECIALLY since he did NOT come home for the MANDATORY Sunday dinner tonight!!!! I KNOW you will NEVER DO THAT!!!

Spencer is tormented with the weather and school and only wanting to GOLF. Sam finds out about baseball at 6am tomorrow...I will make another post if I beat you to yours ...this has been the longest try outs on the planet. Still loves baseball more than most things in life. I AM SO READY for the games!!!!

I am studying about FENG SHUI...an ancient Chinese art of arranging things so that you have maximum energy flow in your life. I've also been studying this incredibly amazing healing art called BODY TALK. It is founded on the principle that our body already knows everything it needs to know to heal itself...but with real life today, often the major energy flow points get stopped up and then it can't help itself. SO...through muscle reflexology you ask the body questions and it helps direct you to WHERE the points are that are stuck so you can get the body synchronized again so it can heal itself. Anyway..rocking my brain world and heart. Real Estate has been interesting....I'll leave it at that. Dad brought my bike up and I'm ready to start biking again now that the roads are clear and I won't freeze my ears off. Please pray for my friend Carol. You'll read more below. I LOVE YOU...ALL OF YOU. Even the hoard the candy in your drawer parts...especially the hoard the candy in your drawer parts...since I usually end up getting to eat it even if it is a few holidays old!!! Have you gotten your Valentine's package yet? maybe for Easter? And then your Easter at 4th of July? You are gonna LOVE me MORE when you get the Easter package!!!!

Sam is currently in my bedroom trying to fly his new found love of paper airplanes into MEGAN's mouth and they are both laughing hysterically. Another Sunday night at the Harris'.

Without you. We miss you Bud. I even miss you telling the singing brothers to BE QUIET. --okay so maye you didn't say it quite like that! :) I cleaned out the music hutch this week and remembered that you did band in Jr. High. I smiled and then put the books in the DI pile. Of course you know I pray for you all the time...when I hear a joke I send the laughs to you, when I hear cold play I hope it is playing in a grocery store or on some car radio so you could hear it too. I'm still just figuring out to how to love you and feel close to you even when you are so damn far away. Yes, I wrote damn. Let me rewrite that...so DAMN far away. I feel so much better now. THank you for letting me be me for this little minute. I LOVE that I can always be ME with you.

It would probably be good for me to visit Africa some day...because the Africa in my imagination is getting pretty out of control. And you know how I LIKE control. I LIKE YOU!!! I hope your companion GETS how lucky he is. If he doesn't, print this out and let him read it. :)

Well lovey...I'm off to bed. You know I LOVE my MONDAY's!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!I'll be awaitin' by the computer.

Be who you are and love the way you love and take and give all the goodness you can get your hands around.

Your Mom

XXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX...all over and especially in the neck!!!

Grandad Steadwell's BIRTHDAY

Can't help but be a little teary thinking that he still won't talk to me. BUT PLEASE...FAMILY!!!!!! Will you call him today and let him know he is loved? It might be the next life before he can forgive me...I'm okay with that...just NOT OK with him thinking that no one cares or remembers him today.

I LOVE CAROL Please pray for her

Friday night I sat down to catch up here for Josh...and quickly just had to check Carol's blog...and there my heart fell to my feet.

In the last 48 hours she had been diagnosed with Rectal cancer and they had already determined that it had spread to her liver and now were just waiting for Monday to hear the treatment schedule and other news. Obviously cancer has come to mean so much to so many of us who have lived through tending to others who have endured it. Whether the outcome be continued life on this planet or moving on, the PROCESSES and lessons are intense and often painful....but oh so refining. For a little bit, I just could NOT STAND the thought of Carol being on THAT path. But a few days have passed and I am at peace again. If anyone can take compacted learning, it would be Carol. Look at her face...can't you just see the PURE intent and PURE LOVE??? I can't imagine what more SHE would have to learn in these areas. Then that makes me wonder if sometimes we agreed to take on things to help OTHERS learn what they need to learn...she would have done that too....
I could write pages about her goodness...but there is no need...anyone who knows her or has been with her has felt and knows the love she has brought here.

It has taken me back to my core of Faith in God and His plan, and in US, and our plans, and in the power of the collective conscious.

Word spread fast, and already, Randy in our graduating class is dedicating his next car race to her and painting her name on the car, Kim wants to run a race (me with her, and others too!!!) in her honor, Randi (girl) in our class- has a cousin who is a Priest who will preform a Mass for her, her name is on the Temple Rolls in the Mormon church and daily thousands will stand united in prayer for her healing until this is over, others are fasting today petitioning Father for HIS WILL, but if OURS could be heeded...we ask for a QUICK and MIRACULOUS Recovery.....many others are participating in prayers, meditations and offerings --more dedications of best efforts--all in her behalf. I believe that when that much of our best energy is summoned to a specific place with a specific intent, it cannot be ignored.

Truly...the UNIVERSE is being gathered in , called upon to hear our cries of love and attention. I like the thoughts of my mom, who always liked Carol, going to be with her and taking my Grandmothers with her since she knows I would want them there...especially when I just can't up and go there immediately. I am asking all available healer's from my past to go to her and work your knowledge and share it with her and her Doctors and all who will be tending to her. I like knowing that all Carol's Grandmother's and Grandfather's and aunts and uncles now passed on will come to her aid....that they loved her before she came, love her STILL!!!! I LOVE knowing that their life energy is still ALIVE and accessible and tending to her family. I LOVE THAT FAMILIES ARE FOREVER and that CAROL is MY SISTER!!!!

I have wished and worked to be many things in my life...but right now I wish to be a healer. I envy the things my brother has learned in med school. I am so grateful for the men and women who chose this profession in Carol's path. May the best of all they have learned be brought to this table, and may their personal lives bring them to an openess that will allow them to hear and be directed by others who know THE way to her healing.

I LOVE YOU CAROL DOUGHTY!!!!!!!!!!

Another Journal filled

I know most of you have heard me say I feel schitzophrenic ...I do!!! Half of me is so sad to see the ending of pages in a journal, and the other half is excited to get on to the next one. I get panicked about not having all the latest STUFF I've been studying at my fingertips that I've put in there, along with thoughts I want to focus on and feelings I am forever sorting out...and pictures or momentos I like to look at for the feelings they bring up in me. And my book lists..and my bucket list and my prayer list and my dream lists and wanna have and be and learn lists and my training schedules and my REAL SELF that I'm afraid sometimes to let other people see...

Well, this one is full. Done. Going on the shelf. AND A NEW ONE with the possibilty of a better, smarter, more loving ME awaits.....

Red is my favorite color...I am just a little sad that my new one is BLACK...but black IS the absorption of ALL color, and I would like to be the absorption of all GOODNESS...I like this journal enough to settle for the black. It's only 8 bucks at Walmart. I LIKE that feel of it in my hands. I like the size...I like the way it opens while I write. I like that it's binding can take alot of taped in, glued in "stuff". I went to Border's and Barnes and Noble...they have some pretty sweet journals...but really, none FELT just right. SOooo...THANK YOU WALMART...again...time number four using this particular journal...but could I petition you to please bring my favorite RED color back for next year...forget that, by next year I may like the black best. I'll just go with what the Universe is offering is offering at the time...and oh yeah...thank you that you still had the one I like best available for such an amazing price!!

Shannon and Cole getting married!

As i walked up
As I walked up to the shower, these Crocus made my heart sing...see...NO SNOW...it was like 45 degrees and actually got up into the 50's yesterday!!!!!

Both of these were Megan's friends since grade school...hard to believe Emily has 2 children!!!

Shannon and Cole will live in California for the next little while and then probably move here...he is in land developing and working on the big piece out near/in Benjamin....

Shannon's mom is Barb...who is one of my best friends and I'm pretty sure an "assigned" earth buddy...

Barb HATES habing her picture taken and I already made the mistake once of putting it on my blog without asking...so I REMEMBERED and didn't even ask...see Barb...I'm progressing... But let me just say...Barb looked as BEAUTIFUL as ever. And Cole, yes beautiful, BUT...could he EVEN know how SMART and FORTUNATE he is to have just married into heaven on earth??? I'll keep reminding him :) Shannon alone is the GRAND PRIZE...but to get Barb and all the rest??!!!! Come on Harris men... there are only TWO left now!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPENCER!!!!!!

Thursday Spencer turned 17. I LOVE THIS BOY/MAN!!!!! He is so his own person. He is such a thinker. A golf fanatic and proud of it. A friend magnet. Cautious but daring....I would let him drive anyone anywhere with no worries, but he's not afraid to try new things. I don't have to worry about his brain surgery restrictions...he's just smart about it on his own. He is figuring himself out. He doesn't do things just because others want him to or because it's expected...HE wants to feel right about it. He isn't crazy about school...but he still hangs in there doing his best because he knows its the smart thing and he is SMART. He is repsoncible, he takes great care of his things and his responcibilites. And then, there is the way he LOVES ME. He REALLY LOVES me...many times he'd rather not be the one to go pick up Sam or some other thing...but he does. He often asks if I need anything. I still can't sit down with
out his plopping next t o me, de-shirting and begging for a back scratch. I LOVE the LOVE he brings to our family. I'm just dang sad that our time together will change in the next year or so...17 leads to 18 and 18 leads to moving out....and then...well...I'm still WORKING on perfecting MY EXPECTATIONS of THEN in THEIR MINDS!!!! YES!!! It means SUNDAY DINNER EVERY SUNDAY and lunch mid week with mom sometimes....I DO have a washer and dryer you know!!! (sorry, got on a little tangent there...that was for you oldest 3!!!--like you didn't know)
I LOVE YOU SPENCER!!!! BIG!!!!BIGGEST!!! THANK YOU for all the LOVE you given our family!!!!XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Oh yeah...for breakfast he wanted cinnamon french toast with Aunt Kori's amazing sauce, hashbrowns from McDOnald's, whitegrape peach juice, and long johns from Daylight.

He chose Tucanos for dinner---we MISSED you Josh and Michael (had to work)!!!!

Friday for lunch I made BAJIO at home and a BUNCH of his friends came (I forgot to take pictures until the girls had already left...sorry women!!! Sorry Spencer!!!)

Josh's Letter 9 March 2009

Hey Family!

This week was amazing! We met a bunch of people from Utah that were here doing service stuff and then went on safari afterwards, but they gave us a bunch of great referals. Most of the referals they gave us were people that they have known for years becuase they come every year for their service stuff and they were extremely well prepared. They had all sorts of church dvds and had even been reading the book of mormon and stuff. On top of that, we met with a buch of people we contacted last week and they all seemed either interested or at least willing to investigate. We ended up haveing 8 investigators at church this week and we had people standing at the back of the room and sitting at the sacrament table just to accomodate the people that were there. There are two other missionaries here in Arusha but no sisters or couples, and the four of us are the intire zone because the closest people to us are about 6 hours away. the nearest stake is in Nairobi, which is the only stake in the whole mission. I like my companion, it was hard to get him to work at first because he didnt work to much with his previous comp but he is doing better now and we are really seeing the results. There are bugs all over the place, and yes we do sleep with mosquito nets, almost eveywhere in the mission does. i stopped taking the malaria pills after i got the parasite a few months ago, i dont know if it was a good idea to tell you that, but most missionarys dont take them and even the ones that do end up with malaria sometime before they go home, so the common consensus here is just to forget them and trust in God and that he will watch over us as missionarys. I do want to run the disney marathon when i get home, that would be awesome, i will have to start working out in the mornings to get ready for it now. Water situation isnt much better, we got a 200 liter tank that we can fill for when the water is here but once that runs out then we are back to hauling it ourselves. i love you all so much!
So on monday we got a call from somebody inviting us to their brothers wedding, my comp said he knew them from before so we agreed to stop by in the afternoon on saturday but said we couldnt stay for long. They were suppose to meet us at this gas station at noon but never showed up. at around 3 we started to et a lot of calls from them, so after our apointments we went back to meet them. when we got to the wedding, the girl my comp was suppose to knew had never seen him, but thought that i was some guy she met named david, and didnt belive me when i said i had never seen her, in fact, she thought i was flirting. She ended up feeding us and introducing me to the whole family (she left my comp back at the table because she didnt know him) including her parents who seemed way too excited to meet me, and since they only spoke swahili all i could really do was greet them and tell them i couldnt understand anything else. We were only there for like an hour but it was probably the most awkward and funny experience of my life to be led around and introduced to a bunch of people i didnt know and couldnt understand by some girl who probably thinks i am her boyfriend by the way she was talking. but it was really funny and a good story, so i hope you all enjoyed.
That was my week, i Love you all so much!!!
Elder Harris
P.S. meg, i dont know what to name your buisness and i am sure you have thought of this already but just in case you havent, you should hand out fliers at the high schools for corsages for dances, lots of money in that i am sure. anyways, i love you, bye!
P.S.S. I think Steph hates pictures even more than i do, but thanks for getting one, and wish jake fairwell and good luck for me, and if you can get his mission adress send that my way, thanks!

Surprise for my Elder

You two are so alike, I think she only gave in for the pic cuz she knew I might cry if she didn't. She and sister were at Jake's farewell talk today...which was MIGHTY...he spoke on the importance of developing a relationship with Jesus Christ. I love that boy. You would have been busting your buttons as well Josh. He and his mom are coming over tomorrow night for dinner and Family Night. When he leaves it will be the last of "you" around to come flying in the door until Greg gets home.
Dad and I are having our annual snowmobile get away tomorrow at Daniel's Summit and I am SO EXCITED!!!!
THe boys have school off tomorrow and Sam will snowboard and Spencer golf.
Michael skipped Sunday dinner to make dinner himself for some women....huh...still not sure how I feel about that...NOT that I get a say....
Spencer is playing games at Chuni's tonight. Last night he went to the BYU Basketball game.--so did Dad and Michael. Sam is still hanging with Orem boys and a certain Orem girl when he can get the chance. He is also shaving a few times a week now and REALLY does need to!
I have that CLEANING Spring Fever and want to make it through every room in the house before next weekend. I want to paint quite a bit too...maybe even recarpet the back bedrooms.
I've had DARLING clients this past week...and a new Title guy is taking me to lunch who found out how much Spencer likes golf...he has a corporate pass to Thanksgiving Point and will take me and the boys...that should make points with Spencer!!! I told him I'd never EVER swung a club and he didn't seem to care.(They just want my business...I'll try any one once...and if they do good throw stuff there way when I can).
The tulips are poking thru and the crocus are BLOOMING!!!
I'm sending an Easter package tomorrow...still hoping you get your Valentine's package SOON!!
How is the companion??? I just FELT that you are happier in Tanzania. Are you still carring your own water? Do you have roaches? How is your tummy? Do you sleep with a mosquito net over you there? How is the malaria medicene going? Bad dreams?
Do you want to run the DISNEY WORLD marathon the CHristmas/ New year's break you get home?I'm trying to get the WHOLE family to do it...even if some just walk it. You'll be in PLENTY good enough shape with all your walking....
I had a lovely week...it just flowed. Just the right amount of work, play, friends, reading. Dad leaves for his trip this weekend and I think I'll tackle a project or two while he is away. Like put in that Hot Tub (okay honey...jk...that was just to get you worried while you're gone:))
I'm glad that you are so busy you don't have much time to think of home. It's not that I'm not busy...but when I fold the laundry, wash the dishes, sweep the floor, drive in the car...I find my thoughts drifting to Africa. I think you have enough protection and happiness prayers said for you already to protect the whole country...I think we will see peace there soon---:)--I wish it really worked that way! I rented OUT OF AFRICA and LOVED the scenery....and the movie...but mostly just being able to get a good idea of how it is where you are.
I'm so thrilled for your referrals!! I know they love you.
Shannon Muirhead is getting married the 11th of April. Jaisha Kirby had her baby--a girl they named Journey. The Sanders ALwayS send their love--Justine seems so happy at BYUI. Now that I'm in primary I never see the Beans. Damon Hulsey is back...happy kids!!!
I'm studying this healing therapy called BODY TALK. I am intrigued at how the body cannot lie. The wounded person can be unconsious and whomever comes upon them that is trained can mentally or verbally ask their body WHERE the hurts are and through a sequence of questions and body muscle reflex responses, be able to know if they have internal injuries etc... it is also being used to help heal emotional wounds as well. I am so drawn in by everything I am learning. I LOVE To learn new things. I hope to take a training course in June. Other than that I have just been studying FENG SHUI (ancient chinese art of arranging your home and life for optimal energy flow and happiness)--so dang INTERESTING. Wish I didn't have to sleep so I could read more.
I gave Sharing Time in Primary today and the lesson was on a Mother's role. I ended it by asking what are some of the things the kids thought that their Heavenly Mother would want them to remember here...we went around the circle...some very sweet things were said...but the one that just sucks the air out of me was when one of the girls (10 years)said..."Heavenly Mother? You mean, like, Heavenly Father's WIFE?" to which I said yep...and she said incredulously "GOD is married??????" We have ALOT more talking to do in THIS church about Heavenly Mother. I'm so glad she loved me enough to share YOU with ME!!!!
You are still in all my prayers and hopes and dreams. I love you for who you are and for how you love me. Just spread the love. I guess somewhere in PREACH MY GOSPEL is a quote from President Ezra Taft Benson that says "oBEDIENCE is the first law of heaven"...well...I want you to REALLY THINK that one through so we can talk about it when you get home. Because the first law on EARTH as told us by the Savior in Matthew 22 is to Love....and the second law also in Matt 22 is also to LOVE...if you think about it further you will want to say that OBEDIENCE IS LOVE...but please be careful when thinking that...what I hope you will think about is OBEDIENCE to WHO and WHAT????
I'll close with those thoughts. You may be thousands of miles away, but really you are just RIGHT HERE in my heart!!!
Love ya BIG!!!
MOM XXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOXXX

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