Josh by Gosh---I LOVE YOU!!!

I am so frustrated...somehow I just deleted my whole post to you...so now I'm starting over.

I tried to take one of those I LOVE YOU shots of myself like Megan does...but this is the best I could get. TRUE MOTHER LOVE is the only thing allowing me to post this...I will now have a mission to get a good picture of me for you for next week. You would think at 46 I wouldn't care...but I do. I want you to have the BEST image of me possible ...it's been 19 weeks after all...

Just so you know..I keep posting pictures of you with the animals for Ty on my blog.

Below is PROOF of my cleaning binge. I don't think I have ever had the whole top floor this organized...having older kids really makes a difference. I have gotten such a buzz out of it...I want to open every cupboard, drawer, closet...etc when I walk by just to LOOK at how neat it all looks!!! I've also loved remembering that I LIKE to get rid of stuff...LESS IS MORE for me. Don't worry..I didn't touch YOUR stuff. I am hoping to do the whole basement this week...but I won't throw out anything of yours...

I've also learned that I LIKE BEING ALONE sometimes. With Dad gone, and the rest so busy with their own stuff...by 6:45 last night I was IN BED with my jammies on and I watched Twilight and the John Adams PBS series..HEAVEN!!! This is kind of like the vacation -at -home I always wanted when you were kids.

I caught Dianna and Gary just before sacrament to get their picture knowing I was short on news for you. I LOVE the way SHE LOVES YOU!!! Pretty sure she and I were duking it out over you and Greg in the pre-existence until someone interceeded and said..."OK, YOU get Josh and SHE gets Greg and I'll let you live close to each other so you can all be best friends and not separated." She sends her REAL, FEEL IT TO THE CORE, LOVE to you..!!!!

I've devoured 2 books this week...one on marriage (I'll spare you the details until you get there--and then I'll just loan it to you) and the other on realizing your potential. Carolyn Myss is the author of the potential book--SACRED CONTRACTS. I LOVE to find spirit/mind food that keeps me chewing and questioning and sorting...I was parallel cleaning my soul while going for it in the house. I never even wanted my IPOD. I have been studying the TAO and the Quran a bit lately and I get so excited when you can take the truths from other cultures, stir it in with our scripture and words from women like Caroline and get this amazing PICTURE that helps me to see what is truth for ME more clearly. I love that we are eternal beings and that I don't have to panic, that time is an illusion, I WILL get all the opportunities I want to learn and experience and love...so MANY things and people to know and love.

Jim Meeks is not doing well. The whole ward prayed for him today...it will not be long. You may want to Face Book Clayton....and of course...Pray. XXOOXX

Megan is going on another cruise --this THURSDAY!!! I kid you not. I want to be spontaneous like her! I'm going to work on that...

I love you. Always and forever...so so so waiting for my "Monday" to finally come...

Learned any life lessons this week? Made any new life resolves?

My life lesson was that I can relax...I will get to love everything and everyone that I want.

My life resolve is to continue to BE ME...to only say it if I mean it, to only do it if I WANT, or it feels RIGHT...This resolve is taking some time to implement. But hey...what is time to eternal beings? THANK YOU For choosing me to spend some of your eternity with ...unless of course I co-erced you into it...even then...thanks for coming!!!!