63 days till Sam is home. Then Michael will be back and Josh will come. Megan is creating the love of a lifetime with Dan. Spencer is exploring all he might possibly create. Living our lives apart is a transformation I knew I would struggle with almost from Megan's birth. I miss you. I MISS the physicalness of you living in OUR house, hugs every day, eating dinner together, growing and learning together, looking at the world together, your friends coming in and out, sharing our day to day living real lives under the same roof. I miss you. I miss THAT "us". I LOVE YOU! I LOVE US!!!!
This morning I am so grateful for how remarkable our lives have been...together and apart. 5 WHOLE lives of love and creation still to be shared with me. I am not lonely...just lonely for the old US sometimes when we are so separated. This Momma just LIKED it so much when every morning you were in my house...to hold and snug and kiss. Now I just hold you in the mornings in my meditations. Today I choose to continue to figure out---to claim-- life JOY-- without each of you in my physical day to day doings. I know I've had time to practice. Hard things take me longer. Knowing, FEELING you in my world is a new love place I get to embrace. As I get still, and know that I am going to get better at being IN this space--I can't help but look forward to that time in 63 days when you will BE HERE.
I have surrounded myself with people I love. But you loves, there is no replacement for YOU... I am not lonely. Just lonely for days past SOMETIMES. This morning is one of those times. Just wanted you to know. And to THANK YOU for coming to me xxooxx.
You have to be brave to come and do life. You have to have courage. I love to look around and see how many people there are here with me--- all with the same courage and bravery. All seeking the JOY!!!! I am here as Momma to say that HUGS and LOVES and SHARING make the life DOING so much sweeter...so lets get all of ours on all of theirs...and most especially on EACH OTHER. HUGS AND LOVES TO YOU!!! Happy Wednesday January 7th.