October 13, 2013

Oh LOVIES LOVIES LOVIES LOVIES LOVIES!!! I had always imagined this trip with all of YOU ...so its been a bit funky NOT to have you here. AND NOT to be stopping to have you all play golf while I drive the cart. Myrtle beach awaits us. Let's start planning this trip now :) We walked to the gate of Augusta National and took pics. NEXT TIME you boys will be GOING IN....

I laugh that I have dreamed of you each night on  this trip. In all seriousness, I cannot help but think that the Gods MUST be instructing and comforting us in many ways while we sleep...especially when we spend HALF of our time on this planet sleeping. I just read an article about people who believe in astral travel while we sleep. I'm IN. I hope you take some time to find an article and read about it and then we can talk some more. Sam...I swear you walked into my office the other morning while I was studying. I just felt you standing there loving me. I said to you "YOU COME HERE...YOU GET IN MY ARMS"...just the way you would have said to me  xxooxx  My dreams of you have been sweet. Even though we are away...each night we have all been at HOME together.

I am so in love with the southern accent. I'm a tad sad that I didn't get to incorporate that part of my birthright...it is so charming to me. If I was younger I might try to fake it :) The slow way they take to tell things, like they are savoring each word. And I am SO "FIXIN' " to add that FIXIN' word back into my vocabulary. Oh...and HOW I LOVE IT WHEN they call you BABY and SUGAR. I remember using Sugar at BYU and making myself STOP befause of the razzing I would get from the girls thinking I was flirting.

South Carolina is gorgeous. The rolling hills, the green EVERYWHERE. Just need me some more GREEN. Augusta is GORGEOUS.  I got to run on this riverside path that had swamp and river on one side and the Savanah River on the other. EVERY person I passed said HEY :) I passed 4 different nationalities and tons of people alone. I felt so safe and wrapped in southern hospitality. THere were turtles on the river logs and 2 snakes and moss on the tress and sound of the bugs in the heat of the day...oh...I was SO HOME. I wonder how many lives I have lived in the south. I wished I could have ran until I couldn't run anymore. At one point yellow butterflies were littered along the path ahead and in my shadow on the ground they were encircling my head behind me. Ohhhhh....life IS BEAUTIFUL.I am SO GLAD I CAME!!! Can you imagine having missed EACH OF YOU????

Spencer is BEAUTIFUL. EACH OF YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.As  I have visited with each of you in  your mission areas, I have been taken to the core of my soul in gratitude for the men you are and how blessed I am that I AM YOUR MOTHER. Megs as well of course as I see her pied piper flowing of friends and associates in and out of our home.  As these people you have loved and served so well come to ME in gratitude,  and come and keep coming to sit in your love,I watch as they want peices of YOU to keep with them forever. Just like me. It's hard for me to share something so exquisite. I can not keep away the tears of AWE and PRIDE at the gifts you have given the world at such a young age. You know I hate it when you go. I can't pretend I don't. But these trips affirm that serving and loving always gird your lives and personalities and gifts in ways I never could give you as your mother. The 2 years create such a foundation of companions for life that will keep you safe and growing and LOVED. And prepare you with skills as you head out to your real life missions.

I wish each of you could be here to see Spencer loved by these people. And that each of you could have been there to see Michael and Josh loved by their people. As Megan has her constant influx of friends and EVENTS (gala this month) I realize what a force of LOVE and GOODNESS she is for each of us in our world. This Momma knows better than to take credit.I am so GRATEFUL that each of you came here so perfect. I look in at other families and their struggles and realize the blessing the EASE of each of you has been. The Gods KNEW I just wanted one earth life FILLED and BRIMMING with LOVE. Sammer...wrap your arms around everyone and every good thing there for you. 18 months...18 MONTHS and I will get to be with YOU and those you are loving serving.

So much lies ahead of us. I feel this sweet and quiet peace for all that is ahead. Lately it seems my/our lives have  attracted the MOST AMAZING PEOPLE. I want to be like so many people. I am sure I have many lives ahead. PLEASE PROMISE TO SPEND ALL OF THEM WITH ME xxooxxooxooox!

Friday night we drove to a single mom's home that Spencer wanted to HUG and thank. This woman had been so dear to him...she was the one who answered my prayer and made him his birthday cake. She is raising 4 kids by herself working at the BBQ Barn. Her trailer is humble. I felt stripped to my core and embaressed at the dreams and expectations I have. Expectations that I have been able to meet. I am filled with WONDER at how many worlds are here on this ONE WORLD. Why some of us are given this canvas with the freedom to create what we are brave enough and diligent enough and given opportunities enough to create....???? WE are SO FORTUNATE. TRULY the world is OURS for the creating with where we have been placed and the opportunities that are OURS!!!

Growing up in the south and in the church with the opression of the African Americans and women I have always had a sense of indignance about righting the inequality issues. I will never forget my AP US History teaching telling me in front of the whole class..."Natalie Broadhurst, I do believe you came here a quiet, fervent feminist. ' I couldn't shake it. I knew deep inside she was right. At the time I was horrified as the church was TOTALLY against women's liberation with all the church women I knew saying trite things like "I don't  WANT the priesthood...why do women think they need to BE LIKE MEN?"...and much more. I wanted to be on God's side...but that NEVER felt like God's side to me. My God loved me. My God didn't have sides. I have realized as the years pass how things bubble and simmer in my soul until they right themselves with clarity and then just OOZE out. Thank you  Mrs. Lu LaFontaine for clueing me into a truth I didn't even know how to swallow at the time.  I have never in my life wanted to be a man. I LOVE being a woman....I knew from the time I could remember that all I wanted was my OWN babies. Isnt that interesting though...that STILL...somewhere deep deep down, I knew I needed to come to this world in a time and place where I could have a voice? I wanted that voice FOR YOU LOVIES...I wanted to be able to shower all the truths of the universe that I am able to glean on you. I am in wonder at WHY YOU CAME AT THIS TIME...and HOW I WAS SO BLESSED to have you come to me?

As I continue to drink in this world and change, I am grateful for your patience with me. I am coming to understand the importance of a ROCK in each of our lives. I hope that MY LOVE--OUR COMBINED LOVE will be your/our ROCK... and that as my world views change that you will be able to breathe them in and out and let YOUR growing and changing views be breathed in and out as you experience truth. This trip has shown me how many sides to truth there are depending on where you are standing. This single mom will long live in my heart. My dreams have been colored a new color with my heart yearning for ALL to have the opportunities to create as I/we do. And in that deep down place, KNOWING that my choices can assist in creating that space. All of our choices can create that space.

NEXT week I will send pics.
I LOVE YOU...I LOVE YOU ...I LOVE YOU ....Did I tell you lately HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU???
Mom
xxooxxxooxoxoxoxoxooxoxox
Josh celebrated his birthday in his new robe...and ate gluten and skipped class.
Michael  is loving Seattle and  his new work mates. Megs is having her masquerade ball. Laura had boyfriend fly here from California.