Each of us has a different path. Its fascinating to watch US.
Dad travels the South American worlds. Michael IS going to work in Alaska again this summer. Josh is going to move into Michael's apartment in Bellevue. Spencer is creating a beautiful GOLF life. Sam will hit his year mark the 27th. Doors everywhere are blowing open for me...I feel like I can't run fast enough to get through them all. I thrill to breathe this hard!!!!
SOOOO....JUST ONE of the doors..... Wait till you see these pics:
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
I want to recreate this room for a master...I know I can't create a beach out the sliding glass doors of OUR HOUSE...but the pool will do :) See that corner couch...PERFECT!!! Not too big, not too small...goldilocks JUST RIGHT! I snugged into the middle with books on both sides.
The speakers to the TV were piped into the bathroom when you went to shower...you could put it on a radio station and blare it...ahhhhhhhhh. The Bedding--WHITE and LUXURIOUS!!! I never thought I'd be liking WHITE bedding...you know how I feel like its NOT a color...but it was CLEAN and perfect. It was a king size bed. I slept in the middle. I used all 4 pillows :) I had books everywhere...my computer on the desk..music playing the whole time. I could hardly decide WHAT I was going to read first with the afternoon they gave us! HEAVEN I TELL YOU!!!
.jpg)
Jonathon and Jessica Law, bless their dearest, kindest, most thoughtful, AMAZING HEARTS-- invited me to participate in a Corporate Alliance Event ( A networking company for CEO's) here at the Montage in Laguna Nigel. EVERYTHING was paid for. My flights, the experience, my food, the accommodations. I am still in reverie. When I walked into my room I had this knowing that it was gift from the Gods. I was so grateful to Jonathan and Jessica for being their instruments.
The event itself was life changing. Nothing about it was common. I was the only woman my group. I got to spend 2 1/2 days connecting and business sharing with these men who have created companies with as many as 500 employees. We shared real life and strategy and vision. I was FILLED and OVER FLOWING with the inspiration of them all...and at their welcome. It could have been a MEN's club...with that "the brethren" feel. But it SO WAS NOT. I will pray to create that again and again. I was recharged on HIGH voltage. They girded me. There was a sincere gratitude both ways for the valuable lessons and knowing we had to share. I had never been more grateful in all my life for all the business books I devour. I left feeling like I was leaving summer camp with an arsenal of angels now at my side as I plunge forward in creating and leading my work/life TRIBE. I am blessed. I am overwhelmed, and yet, my arms are outstretched still to embrace all that is still coming.
We celebrated Spencer's birthday yesterday since I will be in Phoenix this week on his birthday. Breakfast in bed --you guessed it...Daylight Donuts- Raspberry Bear Claws and chocolate long joins w Chocolate milk and Cadbury Chocolate Eggs :) When we went to PKC for dinner, he wasn't sure he wanted to go cuz his tummy hurt....:) We went to see Monument Men after and missed the rest of you like crazy. Knowing Josy was sick made it even harder. Of course Spencer pulls out his phone with a pic of Sam at a Wacky Wednesday on it at about age 5...made me cry. I love how you all...WE ALL...Love each other.
.jpg)
One week from today I will be on a plane crossing the ocean and staying within a half hour of Sam. There is no doubt that my MOTHER LOVE powers created this opportunity. It is also my MOTHER LOVE powers that will survive if its best for Sam not to see me. Sam decides. He has Mormon culture and rules pulling one side and me on the other. I see clearly how this is a mirror of not just THIS situation, but of our entire life together now that I have other choices. What loving mother creates a quandry like this for her boy? Obviously ME. I publicly lay down my side of the rope. There is no pull here. Only yards and yards of lax rope to be used whenever needed. I sit in the irony of knowing I did NOT consciously create this on purpose, yet it is EXACTLY what my heart yearned for. Which makes it all the more sweet... and heart breaking. DUALITY. PARADOX. LIFE. So much to examine and feel through. I am sad. I am sad at the position he feels torn between. It is craziness in my heart that we keep these boys so isolated from their families in the name of their being able to FOCUS on God's work. In my mind our families are also God's work...even and especially in missionary work. I pray for the day when the heavens either enlighten my heart or those who believe differently on this subject, that the pain involved can be removed. My mind thought of Ghandi--- who I love and honor--- declaring his celibacy to his wife after his fourth child was born....telling her--- instead of inviting her to be apart of his decision. Yes, it was Good for him...was it good for her? Could it be good for him if it wasn't good for her? Even if THEIR culture had her in a different caste of subservience? More awe at the GOOD that is accomplished in our imperfectness. More room to create for all that I do not understand. Either way, Sam will have a noble story to tell our posterity. And they in turn, will look in and decide for themselves what love looks like, and how it feels to them. BIG LOVE AHEAD.
Must turn off my brain. I REALLY REALLY LOVE YOU.
One more book for the list. CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS.
YOU are the change makers. We ALL are. Check out the skills and light in showing us other ways in this book.
SPARKLE and SHINE,....SPARKLE and SHINE!!!
The Momma
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxoooooooooooooooooooooooooooxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
No comments:
Post a Comment