Seeing your smiles is just as needed a comfort as hearing them on the phone. I wait for every little life detail. It's a mom thing, pretty sure.
Remember my friend Catherine from High School? Her oldest son left last week for college. She is only week one into experiencing the big black hole. I am thinking someone needs to create some effective therapy for this time in a Mother's life. At least group therapy. Ummm...maybe that will be ME! Sadly, 5 times done and I've got NUTHIN' to comfort. Just...they DO come home...sometimes....
I am so grateful for ALL the days I get to be here in your love. For the eternities I get to be in your love. Whether you are in this home or not. Your physical presence left a black hole, but your spirits dance around me as I open the pantry door and see your growth marks, as I see you on the picture board, as I pretend you are just out on the tramp.
I am so grateful for all the opportunities I create and those that are provided for me. I am most especially grateful for every person on my path. YOU my chickadees...YOU!!!! I am spell bound by the concept that everyone is a mirror of myself. As I have held this idea close to my heart and at the front of my mind this week, I have been tutored. I hope its a true principle, because I am surrounded by love, and everyone seeking to better love...and THAT is WHO I want to be. Try it. Take ONE day and look at whoever you come in contact with and say to yourself...this person is a mirror of me...how do I show up like this? And then...there is this companion thought: each person is your Savior or Crucifier depending on what you are to them. Magnified selves ahead!!!!
Spent my last few days with Paulo Coehlo. Again. Read The Pilgrimage sometime. Like I needed to write that last sentence:)
WHO IS THIS brilliant Creator/God that arranged it so I can learn at the feet of the masters even though physically I will never stand in their knowing? I sooooo came to earth to be here in this age of IPOD. One of my personal favorite LOVE NATALIE SO MUCH MIRACLES. And yes, I believe it was invented JUST FOR ME...maybe I WAS screaming those last two caps :)
Ok...so I learned this week that there is this common "knowing" in texting that all caps is yelling. So...I wasn't informed. ALL CAPS means great emphasis in my writing here, in texts, anywhere...I didn't know people thought I was screaming. So NOT a screamer. I will from here on out try to remember and incorporate the unwritten rules.
I also learned this week that certain people have been "put off" by my voice mail asking them NOT to leave a voice mail because I'm terrible at listening to them. I am pretty new at this boundary thing. I'm not going to justify my overwhelmed feelings when I have 20 plus voice mails to listen to at the end of the day. I am also learning that justifying to others is completely powerless. I'm just going to stay with my truth...see if I can figure out how to listen to the message I left, and then see if I can figure out how to re-record in my nicest, most authenticself, a message that will still keep my boundary while presenting it in a non off putting way. I don't want to be off putting.
I didn't set my phone alarm (a tech skill I DO possess) for my arm exercises 5 times a day this week. I let it slip quite a bit this week and I can feel the difference. Another life reminder to do what you need to do in assisting yourself in getting the important things in. Still freaking in love with my left arm. And my right. And ALL the body parts.
I leave for Italy Thursday. Then to Switzerland...then to England. My appts in Milan fell through once they realized Do Terra was MLM. I can't wipe the smile off my face!!! I will be in Milan with NO AGENDA. NONE. Just me. ALONE. With thousands of years of history, and the people who are the product of that history. It feels like I'm going on a personal honeymoon! I feel like I am about to take a trip that has been planned for me my whole life and I am finally on my way. I have no idea what lies ahead...but its something important. My eyes and arms and heart are open wide. While in Italy I get to see the painting of the Savior, The Last Supper. I will ride the red tour bus. I will ask a local what she likes to do there and do it. I will eat...I will eat MANY lovely lovely things. I actually think I can leave with happy abandon my insecurities and frustration over my weight...I'm going to leave that right here on the front steps.How awesome would it be if I could leave it there forever, not just for the trip?
In Switzerland I will be HERE xxooxx
Paracelsus Clinica al Ronc
Strada Cantonale 158, 6540 Castaneda
Then...off to England where I will NOT see Sam...but I will so be holding him inside. I think Becky will hit GOLD this month making her a FOUNDER in England. I work with incredible people. My life is one non stop miracle.
I love you. Please tell me your miracles. Sam is having some stellar ones. I know the rest of you are as well. I believe LOVE creates miracles. Splash it all over. Sammers...scroll past your last weeks message...I didn't get it posted till after I had put in 2 other posts...and you are so gonna want to see Madeline's baby :)