Going Going Gone

Family came by to say Good-Bye. Jake and Dave stayed over and they played a final RISK game that lasted all night the night before we left. I am just thrashed emotionally. I took a whole roll of toilet paper to the airport in my jacket. What an amazing son. I love the way he loves us. Me. I spent the whole day yesterday cleaning out his room. It will be like a time capsule waiting 2 years to be opened. His stuff smells like him. I remember after Michael left going down and opening his packed cartons to "smell" him. I left his cologne on top this time. He is in Africa right now. It is 3:51 in the morning there. I love it when he is sleeping...I feel like he is safe and happy. The Malaria medicene might give him bad dreams. I hope not. He is so excited. You could feel it. I am excited for his excitement, but still stuck in my real self that worries and wonders. Ugh. I don't want it to be about me. This time I want it to be about Josh. I'm going to work on that. Okay...this is a beautiful boy. I love my body for many things, but I love it extra for the BEAUTIFUL children it help to make.