Wednesday, May 1, 2013


Hmmmmmm. As I was singing and dancing and crying and listening to my HAPPY (Ipod) Playlist through the empty house, I tried to remember what it was like when I was WAITING for you to be born. That feeling like you would NEVER get born... I remember how grateful I felt not to have the fear I had with the first 2 births. I remember wondering WHO you were and WHAT you would look like. I remember hoping that I would be able to be alone with you without many visitors on the first day so we could just BE you and me. I wanted to name you ANDREW. Dad won me over with Spencer. You are SO a SPENCER.
But TODAY. I will not forget today. I am OVERWHELMED with excitement and JOY. The anticipation has abated and its  almost like you are already HERE. The empty spaces you left here are already beginning to fill in anticipation of your physical self getting here. I can FEEL you here. It is the strangest, most WONDERFUL warmth. I could NEVER have imagined, even in my best imagining that YOU would BE so PHENOMENAL. There are no words for WHO you are and the place you hold in our family...IN MY HEART. I have 20 hours. Your love has arrived ahead of you. My arms ACHE for the holding. 20 hours. WELCOME HOME seems pale in reference to this occasion. YOU SO BELONG TO US!!! Everyone knows I have not been the most generous sharer when it comes to these 2 years. Those who know you GET ME!
Making Pumpkin Bars, crying, cleaning sheets, marinating chicken, getting your stuff out of the basement storage room. Missing Sam.

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