Sunday, September 22, 2013


 I went to Florida last Sunday to build Do TERRA. Going home awakens a longing in me for some of my childhood knowing's and beings. I can't help but feel JOY from head to toe as the toads came out at night, as the lizards were racing across the sidewalks, to SMELL the night and HEAR the sounds of Florida dark. To pass MY Krispy Kreme, my high school with the sign out front thanking Dan Boyd (my principle) for 44 years of service. To go to Yoga Kathleen- with a favorite new friend at an all women's gym where my soul screamed YOU BELONG HERE...YOU ARE ONE OF THEM! To be with Karyn Austin as she taught her spin class where she put on MOAB UT on the screen in honor of my visiting. Sweating and pushing with friends is bonding. To sit amongst retirees exercising at 930 in the morning and wonder if a time will come that my days will ever start that late (and realizing that on THAT DAY MINE WAS :) ....and what will retirement look like for me? And WHEN?  It was HOT ....and HUMID. But fall has come on here in Utah--so it was delicious to me to just stand outside in my FLORIDA and let it envelope me.

 I was SO BLESSED to find the MOST phenomenal builder! I will have to take a picture of her for you. She is 48. Her name is Christine Hawkins OLIVER. Even her name is beautiful. She is the kind of beautiful in a person that you can't help but stare at her to watch the way her eyes sparkle and the way her smile changes. Her kindness is just everywhere in her being. The GODS gave her to ME!!!!!! Christine has been SO WORTH the wait! I am excited for our years to come together and the love, friendship and success that awaits us. I am still in AWE at the power of the Universe and how continually generous it is to me---and ALL OF US....I thought that especially as I sat and watched the waves come in and come in and come in ....never stopping...continually running towards me again and again. I have not been sufficiently aware nor grateful. Here I am 50 and STILL waking up to the beauty and wonder of my world.

Thanks to other dear friends I was able to have 3 AMAZING Medicine cabinet makeovers. More beautiful people to love and connect with and share Do Terra.  I stopped into MANY businesses and met earnest, thoughtful, interesting people. I LOVE PEOPLE!!!  It was a lovely busy week. I would leave the hotel early and not get back till after 10 and just fall into the hotel bed. Even with the air conditioning on it felt humid. The pages to my books warped. I smiled. I was home. I like being by myself. I like only having me to tend to. I like having pulp free Florida orange juice each morning to start my in Florida days!

Thursday was one of the sweetest days ever. I just felt LOVED. I had my builder, my MCM's were over...I started my ME TIME. That evening after leaving Christine, I headed out to Alachua to the TEMPLE OF THE UNIVERSE where my serendipitous connection with Michael Singer continued.

 I saw Michael in a little blurp on Oprah's SUPER SOUL SUNDAY and ordered his book. I've already mentioned it to you, but it is a MUST READ CHILDREN...pretty please? I got to the end of the book and read that he had graduated from the University of Florida. I googled his TEMPLE OF THE UNIVERSE...and low and was in ALACHUA FLORIDA (15 mins outside of Gainesville). You know it. My heart raced.  They listed a schedule and he speaks there on Thursday nights.  I KNEW the Gods had led me yet again. SO...I went to his temple and sat at his feet and chanted and sang with him and LISTENED.

 He talked to us about how most everything we do is in attempt to help ourselves FEEL OKAY. (until we reach that heightened plane were we KNOW we are OKAY) Once we realized that we are ALREADY OKAY...we find peace and happiness. My heart burned as I was witnessed to in my soul the truths that this slightly odd, totally appealing, wrap me in his love and laughter and gentleness man shared. His words were MUCH more soul piercing than that. But the simpleness was profound to me. As I left a bit early, before they disbanded,  since it was getting so late and I felt off kilter having driven there in the dark....I walked out in the Florida DARK DARK. At first my heart panicked that the car was down this path that was so dark I couldn't see. Then the noises of so many bugs and live things around me shook my head. But then I stopped. Literally. I breathed it in.  I AM OKAY. There are many people out there who aren't afraid of this dark and this night. I CHOOSE to experience it as they would. I kid you not. My very skin vibrated with the LIFE that was in that dark for ME. The fear disappeared. Reverence filled those spaces. I hope to live my whole life from this new place.  Thank you Michael Singer. I AM OKAY!!! And when I THINK I'm not I am noticing quicker and more frequently and taking myself back to my TRUE self. I am so happy that I'll be able to visit and learn more from him. Chapter 9 and 10 cover the ideas he shared.

This is Jane West ONeal. High School friend. FAVORITE friend now. And NOT just cuz she loaned me her condo.  :)   She,Connie Johnson  and I had lunch on Tuesday at the BLUE GILL...the zuchinni casserole reminded me of mom, the fried Shrimp was heaven...but the FRIEND talk was PRICELESS. I love to laugh and share like we are still 18! Only now its BETTER with the years of life having life "ed" and our expectations almost nill. The ease of our togetherness is the gift. The plainness of who we are and what we are up to. So simple. We just LOVE LOVE. And that means each other. Jane...I can never repay you for the last 2 GLORIOUS DAYS!
Friday morning I was so EXCITED to get to the beach I woke up at 430! (that's 230 Utah time). I threw all my stuff in the suitcases. Loaded the car...and drove as morning came. I drove by my old home in Melrose and wondered who had the lights on? I was sitting on the beach by 930. Pretty much just me for a few hours before the retirees starting putzing up and down.
 This is the famous chair  of Jane's that I borrowed for 2 days. Jane takes the MOST adorable selfies (like above) in this chair. I can't get the hang of the whole selfie thing...well...I guess really I just want her face. She looks 22 and I look 50. Why am I saying this? I really do love me at 50. I sit in wonderment that that face is MINE...when did I take on those years? But there is not one year  I'd trade.
 Can you feel the HEAVEN???? Kite surfing was so thrilling to watch!!!! Day one I spent the ENTIRE DAY on the beach and only left twice to go potty. I think my trial size of sunblock that I pulled from our cupboard was out of date. Fried fried fried. By the second potty trip I was back to covering myself from head to toe. Had to do so day two also. But never you worry...I DID NOT CARE. The breeze was PERFECT. Know what I LOVE about the wind at the beach? NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SINGING at the top of  your lungs to your IPOD!!!!
 Rereading LIFE CODES and taking notes...did I tell you about this book last week? Think so...add to the list kiddos :)

 Mostly I didn't read. Mostly I just SAT. And BREATHED. Breathing. Breathing. Seeing. Breathing. Resting and healing the tired places. Basking in my fortune. Counting the loves. FEELING the JOY!
 Stayed on beach till dark. Practiced NO FEAR. THE MOON WAS HUGE!!  I couldn't believe I was alone. I did stay near the boardwalk in case my fear decided to rise :) The stars were my audience as I twirled and danced and sang to Uncle Kracker's YOU MAKE ME SMILE. I don't remember ever feeling that kind of FREEDOM. Is freedom the right word? Just me, the ocean, my IPOD, my JOY OOZING, the stars, and the dance of my most authentic self with NO WORRIES of anyone watching....cuz it was just me and my world and MY HAPPINESS!  I hope the Gods got it on tape. It was so exhilarating that I would post it here if I could. I only left because of hunger. I hadn't eaten all day. Hadn't even wanted to.  I took my exhilarated self to the Seafood Kitchen and had MORE fried shrimp and hushpuppies and cole slaw.....
 This is Jane's condo where I lived my fantasy for 2 days. I pretended it was mine. I so could live there. Alone. I wonder how many days it would take for me to say, OKAY...send in my people now....I NEED my people. I know its more than 2 days :) Sam, I kept thinking...YOU were on the other side of that ocean...YOU. Just over there.  xxooxx  See outside this sliding glass door? over that green brush are dunes and then the that green brush are rabbits and turtles and snakes and rats...yep.
 I did make the bed..I tried NOT to...but I just wanted it to look perfect more than I wanted to think I could just crawl back in...I mean WHO would crawl back in and waste a minute of day light HERE when there is an ocean out there.
 Here is the chair I studied in and only KIND OF worked in until it was light enough to take my run. HEAVEN I TELL YOU!!.  Yes. ALL OF IT! That chair KNOW how I love me a good rocker!
 Night number two...last sundown...I wish you could FEEL my moment here.
 I felt panicked as it was ending. And then I remembered. I am OKAY. There are so MANY other days to come where I will end it here. Breathing is easier here.
 These feet. These feet will visit here many more times before their life journey is through.
I love you Buddy. Excited to hear about your week. Spent much of my beach time sending you love and memories of our love. YOU MAKE ME SMILE!!! When we are here together next...WE WILL DANCE with the STARS TOGETHER!!! Be looking for the PERFECT SONG!!!
From a Momma renewed.

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