Jealous again. Silly to be jealous, because they DID include me. Today she and Oprah were together under the Oaks. I wanna sit under those Oaks with Oprah every single time, and ask the questions I want to ask. I wanna know everything Oprah asks, but then I want to go on to the stuff that seems to linger on my plate. Like, how do you quit worrying about the safety of your children? (Odd that I trust so fully in WHO you are and the decisions you make, but as you know and mock...its the physical thing---must be past life issues :) )How did you manage to grow from such a different starting place, end up here, and still keep the relationship with your husband? Favorite friends? And others you have scared the hebejzas out of? How/Where did you get the courage to speak your voice? Was your voice always eloquent or are you REAL sometimes too and what comes out is fierce and raw and even harsh to your own ears? How do YOU live in this world of scrumptious eat me NOW food and maintain a healthy weight? How do you have time for everything? Everyone? Especially the friends and new ideas? And the quiet time?
I didn't realize it soon enough Loves, but I DID realize it... that YOU don't quite love and appreciate my sacred journey as I do. Nor should you. Things are suppose to look differently to us at 51 than 20 something. My arms and heart ache to speed you to all HAPPY places. As I continue to collect these people who know the HAPPY portals well, I can't help but book mark them...for ME as well as for you! Some of these places of being you just don't have to be as far on the path as I have been to embrace them. So this is entry is just for me. Read if you like...or not. Heart melding things were shared today.
But first...Is there a way for me to make money "sitting under my own Elms"or better, poolside, and just sucking out the REAL of everyday people? I like their/our worsts as much as I like their/our bests. Their worst fill me with HOPE and guide me in my life planning and thinking. My head rings with the WHY wouldn't I do that? Or WHY have I done that? My heart stays steady in so many longings.
That's what I am doing really. Spending my days creating and questioning all the realness around me. Seeking. Finding. Sue made me laugh...she said in her 50's she decided it was time in her SEEKING to start FINDING somethings. I sit her surrounded by so many of the things I have FOUND. This office is a sacred place for me. Having just left all of you in Seattle, WHEREVER YOU ARE is a sacred place. And sweeter still...I have found...that wherever I am, whatever I am doing, whoever I am doing it with...it is sacred.
I want to be able to live the beautiful life of comfort and time abundance while connecting with people. Real people. That takes time. Unfettered, attention focused time. I feel like the dog that wants to roll around in EVERYTHING of interest he comes across--whether is smells "good" or not! The everyday energies around me, those who haven't written a best selling book or done anything that the world has taken note of... the ones whose everyday lives compel me to beg for more and more days on the earth to touch their energy. I am half lying. I want more time with the exceptionals. I want my Sue Monk Kidd's and Marianne Williamson and Robert Schwartz's. The one's who have found their voices and use them in ways that turn listening into prayer.
Highlights of the interview for me today:
*You can feel homesick at Home.
*Read Thomas Merton , THE SEVEN STORY MOUNTAIN OF THE TRUE SELF
*Our Soul moves us by our longing
*You find your light, you lose it, you find it again
*We become what we pay attention to: What brings YOU Natalie ALIVE?...your LOVE is your OXYGEN
*Ask for the thing that lies in the bottom of your heart (nun story at the tree)
*We should "take away" our own breathe once in a while
*Just to BE is Holy, is a gift
*I came here to live out LOUD\
*Life is full of cocoons (especially like this after last weeks Mark Nepo thoughts)
*You don't leave one self behind, its an integration...love this.
*Anytime you are fully present you are in prayer.
*"She's been boiled down into a GOOD, STRONG broth :)
Super Soul Sunday is what I always wanted church to be. I leave with a heart filled with HOPE about ME AND my world, with new ideas for my life plan, and SOOOOOO HAPPY...so so so so HAPPY to be sharing my transformation with others who are SEEKERS and FINDERS and SHARERS.
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