It's here.

Spencer Lovey......
It's here. The postage is 1.90...I think its foreign. I can't quit crying. Don't be mad at me. I have tried every which way to talk myself into feeling otherwise but I KNOW HOW DAMN LONG 2 years is.......
I will post as quickly as I can in case you can be near a computer tonight to check at some point. They won't make it home till 7 cuz Josh has a class that he has to be in until 5.....

I love you in ways I have no words to give to it.  I want you to know that just because I HATE  this whole mission thing, it doesn't mean that I don't respect your decision. After all, I'm the one who raised you to do and be this. Yes, if I could, I would go back and change some things. But I have absolute trust that your lives will bring you to the beliefs and understandings perfect for your growth here.  I LOVE the foundation of goodness and love the church has given all of us. I LOVE that you KNOW the reality of a God that is intimately involved with the details of our lives.  It's just that somewhere in there my heart and testimony have changed to believe other things than exactly what the church presents....and my selfish mother self   loves the church less perfectly for expecting my sons to be gone for 2 years. SOOOOOooooooo...if you do get this today. LOVE ME HARD from there.
Heading to the hot tub.