Sunday, June 2, 2013
To my BAMMER
Sometimes missing you hits me hard. I saw Jackie Schroppel at the movies and she asked about you and is freaked to have CJ go...lets just say I was happy to be in a dark theatre...and happy to tell myself THIS IS THE LAST TIME EVER!!!!
I've been reading--I know, you are surprised :)...but this is a book by Gabrielle Bernstein entitled SPIRIT JUNKIE, A Radical Road to Self -Love and Miracles. The title vacuumed me in. I know I was suppose to FIND this one, really, it found me. I am overwhelmed with the miracles in my life, and yet I still beg for MORE! She talks about how she is WASHED in LOVE in her meditations the same way I am! (I am dying to know if she has a hot tub). When I FEEL this washing I just WANT EVERYONE ELSE to feel it too! One of the doctrines of the church I haven't been able to agree with is their belief that if you sin the Spirit leaves you and cannot be with you. I have lived my whole life a "sinner" and somehow I have been special enough that I am the ONLY ONE IT DOES NOT LEAVE? That just can't be. Same with Gabrielle. Doesn't leave her either. You KNOW I don't think that I am more special than any other human on this planet. I trust MY OWN experiences over what other people tell me is their truth. I am open that our truths are different. Just sweet to connect with a spiritual soul sister who sees things pretty close to the way I do. And I also LOVE LOVE LOVE the way her heart yearns for others to trust in what they feel in their quiet knowing and prayers-- to JUST RELAX and LOVE and FEEL the LOVE of a higher source....and then LETS TALK ABOUT IT in a way that everyone gets to hold their personal experiences valued and right. Gabrielle has studied in depth this book called the COURSE IN MIRACLES that I have made stabs at several times. I feel like a spiritual "wee thing" when I proceed to process the ideas there. I am encouraged to come back to it again because of her. So many worlds going on right here on this ONE. I want to put my foot in so many of them...and then I laugh when I think of the ones I NEVER WANT TO GET CLOSE TO! Whatever worlds are being created in and near EASTWOOD England, I feel pretty sure I want IN to all of them. Where ever YOU are I WANT TO BE. xxooxx
I am going HOME to Gainesville on the 17th to find this AMAZING SAUCE person who is just waiting to be in business with me and they don't even know it:)! I am eager to find them. I thrill to think I will have reason to go home ONCE A MONTH! Happy! HAPPY! HAPPY! So many of my friends are being gracious and letting me introduce them to the oils. I keep laughing as I think how I WOULD have felt if one of THEM had approached ME with anything that looked like an MLM just a few months ago! And here I am IN LOVE with the company and the oils and a missionary of Natural Health! Who gets to have such generous and loving friends??? I DO!!!! There are moments when I am still so surprised at myself and think "Now WHAT am I doing????" And then I think, oh yeah... in 3 years ONE of you could be married and I COULD have GRANDBABY that I WILL want to play with for uninterrupted days on end! AND YOU WILL BE HOME! And some of the other kids might be at places that they COULD stop and PLAY with me for a week at a time or so.... and maybe even starting on the golf course...and then there are MY other dreams ... and QUICKLY I snap joyously back to work knowing I am about the creation of the funds to FUND these dreams.
So you know...I'm just sayin'...if NONE of my current dreams were to come to pass...My heart would STILL be near to bursting with LOVE and HAPPINESS....because of the MIRACLES that have been mine. You Sam. YOU. You are one of my most favoritest Miracles EVER. EVER!!!!! I would have come JUST TO BE WITH YOU!!! Whose heart could NOT be FILLED with LOVE for the CREATOR of this amazing life SURVIVOR?? And what a brilliant game master that WE ALL WIN!
MISS ME BACK HARD!
I'd love to see pics of the new flat!