In frustration over my weight yesterday-- my sweet, INTUITIVE, KIND massage therapist Shauna said to me, "I'm feeling prompted to have you explore the difference between self denial and self control." That was it. Didn't add her 2 cents. Just left it there in the air for me to do with it what I will.
WHOA. It hasn't even been 24 hours and I am dancing at the HOPE I feel in sorting through this.
Yesterday morning I listened to a blurb by Tony Robbins where he is saying that to CHANGE you really just have to DECIDE--to make ONE decision and DO IT!... and then BURN THE SHIPS to conquer like the Vikings did so that there is absolutely NO GOING BACK. I was ready to BURN SOME SHIPS when my pants felt like a suffocation device. AGAIN. Those feelings lasted all until I ate 3 grapefruit cups for breakfast...thinking "I NEED to have more than one, I worked out really hard, I'm starving, you gotta take care of/LOVE yourself girl!!!! Weight UP and Weight Down. I'm getting OFF this hell go round.
Shauna is a personal prophetess. I think the SITTING in feelings of SELF DENIAL is what walks me into bingeing. It's my rationalization card for poor choices...I'M SICK OF DENYING MYSELF... ..instead of standing in my true self love, coming from that place of KNOWING that I love my body enough to want only what is for its highest good. I already KNOW I love that feeling of skinny and strength. Also getting more and more CLEAR on the heart versus head stuff. My head can KNOW so much...but if its not coming from my heart I struggle to act. This new perspective feels HEART knowing. This change of heart knowing FEELS like it is really going to affect my food choices. I LOVE my body...and I'm gonna treat it that way.
I am one of Robyn Openshaw's Besties for goodness sake (Green Smoothie Girl). You would think with all my knowledge and our crazy bets that I would have had a handle on this. One more time Natalie girl. THIS IS NOT ABOUT WHAT IS IN YOUR HEAD, ITS ABOUT WHATS IN YOUR HEART...and you freakin LOVE that body of yours and ALL the JOY it brings. LOVE IT WITH YOUR BEST HEART! Pretty sure that will bring some different choices. We will all see. The Body doesn't lie.
I love you BIG Shauna. I love anyone who takes me to my heart place.
( Yes this is a shamless plug because I LOVE her SO MUCH and I always like to be the girl who turns you towards the favorite things to be experienced in life :) Shauna Robinson TRINITY MASSAGE Helping you heal Body, Mind and Spirit 801-520-0922)
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