The DREAM

So it's no secret that I have always wanted a pool. Not just kind of wanted one...the REALLY REALLY wanted one type of wanting. Maybe its because I was born Pisces with my rising sign as Cancer (another Water Sign). Maybe its because I was raised in Florida around SO MUCH WATER. Maybe its because my folks built a pool when I was 13 and it became my Sanctuary-- the one thing that got me through the teenage years of living so far away from everyone and gave such sweet relief from the Florida heat when we had no air conditioning. Maybe it is because sometimes I have this recurring dream where I am completely submerged in our pool at home looking up at the sun rays shining down through the water---you would think I would wake happy because I am waking from complete BLISS, but instead I wake frustrated that it isn't really happening, it's always the middle of the night and I want to quickly go back to sleep and be there some more---but somehow I never get back again that same night. I must have really liked the womb.
It's not the same at other people's pools. You can't just go slip in when it FEELS like a good time. There are always other people around. And I do live in Utah, so not so many people would take too kindly to the whole skinny dipping thing...I think you have to be a Southerner. And the whole night swimming thing. Absolute relaxation. So, I am 47 and this dream hasn't gone away. I tried to "get real" with myself several times with the logic the kids are almost gone...to which I respond "YES!! They ARE!!! ALL THE MORE REASON...the pool will bring them and my grandbabies BACK,... and I LIKE to be in a pool ALONE!---IT could be my PRIZE for having to let the kids grow up and go! I tried the "there are so many other places for this money to go"...and that worked for all the time up until now. I tried the "a pool is just a THING", there are starving needy people all over the planet, what if you couldn't afford to maintain it?, it would be a liability....I could go on. BUT I'M NOT GONNA!!!
I am declaring to the UNIVERSE and you, that I am going to build a pool. I surrender, with absolute JOY and SOUL DEEP THRILLING that I am. I should have taken a picture of Craig, the pool guy. He even came to my house on Wednesday. HE CAME TO MY HOUSE!!!! Don went with me to meet him in South Jordan so he could show me the one like I was wanting (Don took a picture of me in front of it)...20 X 50 with the baby splash area that fits an umbrella into it and one side with a lane for laps, and the TURBO SLIDE that those yet to come Grandbabies are gonna squeal over...maybe me too! I know the economy isn't the best its ever been. I know I am starting with$XXXX and it is not enough to pay for it yet. But it will come. From now on, just like taxes, tithing and all the other monthly stuff...there will be a chunk set aside for THE POOL. Yes, for ME. There. It is declared. If you would like to contribute feel free. Oh, feel SO free. Anyone who contributes get to share it with me. Hey...maybe I could even do those cement name blocks with your name on it around the pool...now that would be love remembered!!! I am trying not to feel sad thinking how much closer I would be if I didn't have all those Canada trips...but maybe Canada will just have to come to me. It makes me feel giddy just thinking about it. It makes me want to have longer work days to help realize it faster. It makes the WHOLE work thing feel so DIFFERENT from before--like PLAY!!! Yeah...that's it...like PLAY!! And I want to WIN!!! Just to be clear. I really am doing it. Yep. Even if something comes up that needs a chunk(BECAUSE SOMETHING DOES ALWAYS COME UP)!!!......so when it does, the answer is NOPE, NO, NYET, NO, But thanks for asking anyway...NO NO NO...because the amazing POOL is going to come.